Course 1, Diary 14: Conclusion to course 1


I really don’t know if this one is necessary, but I put it here anyways.

The picture analysis is done. I think I did it well enough. The course is over now. I will update this entry once I’ve got my grades for this period and tell my grade for this course.

The next visual arts course I have will be during next year. Until then this place will be on hiatus, unless I find something to do with this place for now.

Now that I reflect on this whole course, I can wonder: “What did I learn?”

Part of my mind says: “Nothing.”

Sure, I did learn something about isms (a good amount of them came to being in France), I learned some new trivia, but what about improving my skills? Did I learn something that helps me make my art better at least once I can apply it to my works?


However, this has strengthened both my respect towards traditional artists and my resolve to be a digital artist. On this course I have indeed realized that doing anything complex with anything else than a regular pencil in the traditional way is not for me. My works of art are meant to be done on a computer.

With these words I conclude this course diary. Thank you for reading and I hope you’ll be reading my next course diaries on the following years!

EDIT 20.11.2015: Ok, I got the grade: It’s 9! The highest grade I’ve got from visual arts now! I went ahead and asked my teacher the grades of my works, and I want to share them:

Me and Art collage: 9

Self-portrait: 8½

Subvert: 10 (the teacher told me it made her laugh aloud the first she looked at it; Now who was saying I’m unable to make funny stuff? Wait… It was me…)

The vehicle: 9

To be honest, while I deemed my works (aside from the collage which, by the way, has suffered from being in the front of the binder afterwards) kinda crappy, but getting this good grades from them changes my mind. Maybe they are not crap, even though especially my self-portrait suffered from lack of tools for the quality of technical execution I wanted. I have a lot of improvement needed, but I will get to the level I want to get to. I know I will.

I just need to not give up.

This I want to say to all my fellow artists who fight with their limited skills.

Don’t give up.

Course 1, Diary 13: Design a vehicle Part 3


After a weekend of studying chemistry and physics, Monday and the final double lesson of visual arts was to come. I returned to coloring my bicycle, and I finally managed to finish it during the first lesson. I left coloring the dome the last thing, and I really started to feel even more respect towards those who do art on paper and do it very well at that point. On the other hand I’m starting to dislike colored pencils. The next time I buy any pencils, I’m not buying BIC’s pencils. Unless I happen to find wooden pencils among their products, that is.

Anyhow, here is the finished picture. I marked the text spots with numbers on Gimp in order to make translating easier and more understanble to you:


Does the text even show in any readable form?

And the text in English:

1: The best materials and design guarantee that the bicycle will not break easily in normal use and that its maintenance is faster, easier and cheaper.

2: The metal parts have been processed with the best and most ecological means of rust protection technics

3: Nature and recyclability have been thought about in the production

4: The decent springing softens bumps.

5: Many different colors and patterns

–Personal, unique patterns orderable

6: -The lock is changeable

-The thief block is settable

7: The comfortable, softened parts make riding more comfortable

8: Charging spots for e.g. a mobile phone

9: The basket can be changed to a bigger model

10: Space for charging etc.

11: The basic model has a chain lock and a thief block

12: Lidded and equipped with a lock

13: The plastic, shape-keeping dome protects from weather, is detachable, and from certain points foldable for entry and conservation

-In an accident it protects more or less, depending on the situation

14: The dynamo’s electric current charges the battery of a 7-led lamp just in case the power is cut off

-The lamp is easily settable

15: Spare batteries, to which the charge can be stored to for later use, are installable

16: Inside the frame of the bicycle are isolated dynamos which form electricity along with the bicycle’s movement

I think this is my worst work on this course at least by its looks. I was not interested in this exercise and I believe my lack of interest shows along with my bad colored pencils and minimal skills. But at least I did what my limited abilities let me do, and it is good enough for me that way.

Some others were practicing picture analysis for next Monday, when we will do such a thing for a “test”. As far as the practice exercise suggests to me, it will be quite easy. I better worry more about passing the physics course than this visual arts course. In the meantime I wrote this entry and prepared the conclusion entry. That’s it.

Course 1, Diary 12: Design a vehicle Part 2


On Thursday I returned to strengthening the lines with my pen. That pen I used is actually one that I’ve had ever since I began school from the first grade (I skipped preschool since it was optional back then) and it has been used for signing all the tests and all the school papers which required a parent’s signature. Of course there is a pen that has partially replaced it (somehow it usually is easier to find from my pencil-case), but I still have it and it works well. So that pen is nine years old now. A good pen, isn’t it?

This is how far I got on Thursday:


A hasty picture, yes. I believe I was in a hurry and just took a picture without trying to get a more straight picture of this…

I finished the bicycle and started to strengthen the text. I finished it on Friday with the very final modifications, so I could start to color the picture. The upcoming test week is putting pressure on me – I’m chalking it up to that! – I ended up forgetting to take a picture of the final lines. I guess I was too busy erasing all the pencil marks I found to recall it. As coloring was still in progress, I did not take a picture of it.

Fine, I’m honest: The thought of taking a picture of it did not even cross my mind, and even if it did, it was about taking a picture of the finished picture. What can I say? The test week is putting pressure on me and even though it’s only about 5 PM/17.00 by the time of writing this entry, I feel notably tired. Adjusting the clock one hour backward last weekend has completely messed my biological clock up, and I am not the only one with that issue. I understand that this Daylight saving time system saves daylight, but I believe that at least nowadays it most likely causes more trouble than benefits. Luckily it’s a weekend now so I can study for the test week during forenoon when I am not feeling this tired.

I have nothing more to say today.

Course 1, Diary 11: Design a vehicle Part 1


On Monday we began with an exercise: we had to pick a picture and make a mind map about the people in it. After that we had to make a plan for a vehicle of our own which these people would buy. I decided to make a bicycle for the man of the picture I took. It took some time to actually get a picture of it to my mind and start drawing. I did not get very far with the picture though.

On Tuesday we continued, of course. I managed to mostly finish the drawing and started to write things about the bicycle to the picture.

On Wednesday I fully finished the picture and started to strengthen the lines with a pen. Here’s how far I’ve got with it:


Yes, I forgot to take a picture before starting to strengthen the lines… And this was a rather hasty picture.

I will translate the text in the final course diary on this topic, when I have the finished version.

I admit that I am not very interested in this, but since this is a school work which is required for the course, I’m doing it. And I admit that a bicycle like this would be real nice for a rainy day!

On Wednesday we also watched the subvert made by one of us; he had made it as a video, and it was awesome! I really liked it.

Test week is going to start on then next week, so I need to finish the entries of this week fast. Reading the pages on the test areas (I believe test area is the best word for koealue) of physics and chemistry tests takes some time, so I will have less time to write anything until those tests are over; I’m not worried about the Swedish test which is after them. On Monday we will have a double lesson of visual arts but after that we only have some kind of a picture analyzation exercise as our visual arts “test” on the Monday on the following week. I will write a conclusion entry for this course’s diary then. I believe that all of the courses require a course diary, so I will do them here when it’s their time.

to write anything until those tests are over; I’m not worried about the Swedish test which is after them. On Monday we will have a double lesson of visual arts but after that we only have some kind of a picture analyzation exercise as our “test” on the Monday on the following week. I will write a conclusion entry for this course’s diary then. I believe that all of the courses require a course diary, so I will do them here when it’s their time.

Course 1, Diary 10: Subvert Part 3 & More writing


Like I had expected, I did not manage to finish my subvert last night. I will finish it today after school. For this lesson I have to do something to pass time.

I realized on this lesson that the fete the students of junior year prepare for senior year students in December near Christmas will be at the same time as my aikido training, given that the sports hall we have the training at won’t be closed at the training’s time then. I’d prefer to stay out of others’ way and go to my training (now who would’ve ever guessed that about me when it comes to physical exercise?), but I cannot decide it. I have to go to the fete to do my work (I will carry stuff before it) even if my contribution could be easily replaced. Gah!

I guessed that all I could do after writing my course diary up to date was just doing some of my writing projects on my phone since I had all my earlier works ready. I admit that I did not make very much progress on it, either, but at least I did something else than just scroll through Facebook. Wait a second, I don’t even have an account there, and even if I had, it would be a trash account for something necessary and which I’d log in to on Google Chrome once a month – or maybe a week if needed – instead of my usual browser, Mozilla Firefox.

Enough about that topic. I managed to finish my subvert. I did it to mock my local newspaper, Ilkka.


Yesterday I took the picture of the day’s paper and blurred everything else than the banner, to which I put another P to make it Pilkka. Ilkka is a male first name, while the Finnish word pilkka can be translated to the English word jeer.

The text on the left half, from top to bottom:

Subscribe Pilkka!

All the shit from South Ostrobothnia!

Now at the bid price of only 80 €/month!

Subscribe the newspaper today already! * (the asterisk barely shows)

*The subscription cannot be withdrawn, and the payment won’t be returned.

Under the picture:

A referential illustration. The things are much more unclear in the newspaper itself.

Now please don’t get the wrong idea about my thoughts. This is purely humor and a school work. I have absolutely nothing against Ilkka. I think it’s a very good newspaper. I do not intend to offend anyone with this thing. If anyone got offended by this, I apologize and genuinely ask to calm.

What was it like to do this? I had some issues with Gimp and my laptop is not the most cooperative one you can find, and doing something like this one is not really like me. But as it is a school work, I did it. I think it’s a bit crappy, but that’s ok for me. This one was somewhat out of my comfort zone, but at least I put some effort to this and did not just randomly make this one with the hideous “whatever” attitude. That’s what matters to me. This week (especially today and yesterday) has been quite full of fail anyways.

We’ll see what’s ahead on Monday, then. At least there is the nice weekend before that. I really want to get some progress on my personal projects now.

Course 1, Diary 9: Subvert Part 2 & Writing my course diary


I have my subvert thought and planned. I found the picture I need and downloaded it on my phone. I gave some thought for what I will put and where. That is all I could do on my phone, so I decided to start to write the course diary of yesterday and today on my phone. By the way, if anyone needs a simple writing app from which you can copy the text to a computer, I suggest an app named Writer (it’s available on Google Play store, at least). Copying the text is one-way, from phone to computer, though, but otherwise it is very good and very easy to use.

I had planned to do the subvert today, but I am afraid I won’t be able to finish it, as my aikido training takes away roughly two and half hours of my time on my computer. I wonder what I can do tomorrow on arts lesson…

Course 1, Diary 8: Self-portrait Part 4 & Subvert Part 1


The next topic was making a subvert. Others started to move on to that and I took my black pencil and started to color the background. For the sake of keeping broken parts on chains visible in the dark, I added more blood to them. By the end of the lesson I was ready and I tried to take a good picture of the result. The light in the classroom is not very good in addition to my phone’s camera being quite bad, so I did not get very good pictures. I did what I could to improve the quality with Gimp, but I could not do enough. In addition to that the paper crumbled a bit in my backpack (I did not want to fold it so I could not put it to a binder). It’s too bad, really.


Now that his is ready, I want to tell you guys what this represents. And here it comes in italic. I have to warn you, that this is a rant.

Like someone who reads this may already know, I have been bullied in my life. Things have been difficult and many scars have been left even though one cannot see them. I still am maybe even more wary than I should about telling some things about myself to people I don’t know. It did not do any good back when this all happened, not at all. It just made the things worse, I believe. Even though I’ve got friends I see daily at school or with whom I talk via the internet, even though I have gained a lot of courage and self-esteem, it does not make anything undone. It does not erase the scars, it does not make those things fade away. Memories can fade, and I admit that my bad memory has lost a lot of those things, but some things stay in mind. Some things I can’t forget. And what’s more, the traces it has left stick forever.


Outside, I am not a very beautiful person. I am not the beauty you see in an advertisement or at fashion shows. I acknowledge this and I don’t mind. Please, don’t get me wrong: I don’t think I am ugly. I am something between these two. And, of course, this is a very subjective thing. But inside this skin that covers everything starting with the fingers that press the keys which tell the computer to add certain letters to the text that is formed on Word, is something that is more beautiful than the shell. This is why I drew myself more beautiful than I look like.


The girl in the picture is me. That’s simple. The chains represent the bullying. I have been chained, imprisoned, stopped from doing things or going to certain places. It metaphorically represents that. The broken skin that has come from fighting against the chains is the scars I carry. The blood that is bleeding out of the spots previously covered with skin is the hurt I’ve been inflicted to. The shady forms that laugh, that whisper to each other while holding the chains are those who have hurt me, who have wanted to harm me, to degrade me. There is blood on the chains, but those chains have been broken. I am no longer chained by these people who don’t accept me the way I am. It has hurt, but I have broken away. I am putting the darkness of those bad times behind my back. I am walking into the light, and I am not going to turn back. I am not going to even look back, and I am determined to stay in this decision. This maybe even obstinate determination is what shows on my face.


This is part of who I am. This is the symbolic meaning of this self-portrait.

I did manage to get the idea to my subvert. We have the option of making it on a computer. The school’s own computers have only Microsoft Paint, which I have not used for a long time, as I moved to Gimp as I started to make art on my own time. Gimp can be difficult to use, but I think it is worth it. I have compared my MS Paint works to those I’ve made with Gimp, and there is a huge difference in quality.

For these reasons I am going to do this subvert on my own laptop – on my free time, of course.

Course 1, Diary 7: Self-portrait Part 3


A new Monday after the holiday. It really is good to begin your school week after the autumn holiday (and normally) with a double lesson of visual arts. I was ready to continue my self-portrait (I believe I had too much inspiration left from continuing a personal project of mine on Sunday). I had to finish the outlines, and I did that.


I took a look at what I had done and I did notice that many outlines needed to be strengthened. I began to do that, but I did not manage to finish it.

On Tuesday I did manage to get the outlines strengthened and I could start to color the picture. I think that the sharper lines are visible in the picture I took.

Ääriviivat tiistai

I had bought my colored pencils with the thought that they would be the color they seemed to have. I needed them for some personal projects. When I began coloring starting with the skin, I ultimately noticed that I had been wrong about the colors. And that skin-colored pencil was the reason I had bought that pack. Not good, not good. Those colored pencils are some wood-less colored pencils which even I could snap with my hands (I have a similar pencil; I’ve snapped it to a few pieces). They were a bad choice, I think, but I will keep on with them as long as they last or at least are enough for my works.

This truly is why I prefer making my art on my computer rather than on paper. I don’t have the issue of not having the exact color I need on the programs I use. The problem with programs is that getting the right hue can be difficult.

Enough about this topic. Half of the students have finished the self-portraits, so we are moving on while those who have their self-portrait in progress can continue their work. I decided to take my paper with me and finish coloring as I had some spare time right after school. I also did feel a bit like I was getting behind.

I took a better look at the face and thought about what this picture represents. I realized that anger did not belong there. I needed some stubbornness, something that made “me” look like I could say: “Now I am walking this way and you have nothing to say about it!” Therefore I took a selfie for some slight reference and changed the mouth.


After making this the way I deemed good enough, I returned back to coloring. In the evening I got it this far. I decided to leave the background blank and ask some people at the class on the next day if it needed something there. However, very late at night I suddenly got an idea: making most of the background dark and leave some of the bottom white. For me it had a very fitting symbolic meaning, so I put the idea on my phone to the same text file I had put the homework to. I knew that I would not remember it otherwise in the morning anymore — that has happened to me many times before.


What was that homework? We had to pick something (TV, newspaper, social media, etc.) and pay attention to the advertisements and tell on the next lesson about an ad which we could remember the next day. I admit that I forgot it and then remembered it when I checked the user interface my school uses for marking absences, courses and so on. The homework had been marked there by the teacher and as that was the evening, all I could do was to make a makeshift thing and wander around Youtube, paying more attention to the ads than just the normal “skip after 5 seconds”. I wrote a couple of them down on my phone. I told the one I encountered first and a couple of times after that on Wednesday’s lesson then. It was simple enough.

Course 1, Diary 6: Self-portrait Part 2


Like I said in the previous journal entry, I discarded the idea I had gotten. This decision came after the lesson as I thought about a rough idea I have had for some time. I have wanted to do it for a good while, but I haven’t had time for it. I decided that I would do it as my self-portrait. The resolution to make this picture right now most likely this came from the fact that I am, once again, facing the picture’s depicted problem. It really aggravates me, but I am not going to fall. And actually this issue I am currently facing has lead me to think even deeper about two of my original characters I’ve made for a fanfiction of mine. What I realized was actually astonishing.

But enough about that, I am sidetracking here!

The picture I started to make is a full-body picture, and the pose of “me” in it – it really doesn’t look like me at all, honestly! – is quite easy for me, so I did not have to get any reference pictures (my collage will be enough if ever needed for this one). I am making it – especially its details – while drawing. By Thursday I had drawn most of “myself” there, but it’s still in progress. Due to this Friday being a special day (corvée) we don’t have an arts lesson then. However the teacher said that we have plenty of time to do our self-portraits, so I did not take my picture with me for autumn holiday.

Once I have finished the picture’s outlines, I will post a photo of it along a course diary entry. But not now because it’s not finished enough.

I do hope I will make it ok.

Course 1, Diary 5: Self-portrait Part 1


The presentations have been given. Now it was time to move on to the next topic: making a self-portrait.

As was expected, everyone got horrified. “I can’t draw!” many – including me – said. But we are in luck: we can choose any style of modern art or modernism. The portrait does not even need to look like us. And indeed I am not making one that looks like me just to keep my drawing skills from making me look even worse.

The music class is right next to visual arts class, and the music can be heard well through the wall even in the middle of the arts classroom. So I decided to make my self-portrait one where I listen to music. It was going to be a dark picture, telling something about silence and peacefulness. I wanted some feeling to it. So my choice was symbolism. I thought of drawing either a Jedi tunic or an aikido outfit on me (even though most of what was to be seen in the picture was my head).


This is what I drew. I think it went ok. However, like the cross over it indicates, this idea has been discarded. So the picture of me I used as a reference is now useless. I’m drawing a new one on the other side of the paper.

Maybe I’ll finish that picture someday in some form. Who knows?

If I am using a picture for that, I do need to wear different clothing in it than what I wore during taking the original picture, though…

We were given questions we have to answer. Now I am making a small writing to answer them.

At first I was worried about making this self-portrait thing, but when I heard that it does not have to represent the person who has made it, I relaxed. Of course my original idea could have been a good face study, but using my own face? I’m not really into that.

So I did not want to make it look like me. I had to choose a style which did not require realistic drawing. I first thought of using a style which name I don’t recall now, but my teacher reminded me about symbolism when I told her about wanting to have the emotion coming from my picture, so it became my choice. And symbolism is even clearer choice for the idea I am going to execute for this self-portrait, so that’s it.