A continuation to FFM 2026 27: To Wrangle a Warrior. I wanted to do some Steirdrar POV or show post-meeting Steirdrar too but I ran out of words. Maybe the last day, assuming tomorrow’s challenge doesn’t allow for that already? We’ll see.
Steirdrar’s eyebrows shot up when he noticed Beyari approaching him in the waiting room. “Hi.”
“Hi. Is this seat free?” Beyari gestured to the seat next to him.
“Yeah.”
Beyari sat down. “How are you?”
“A little nervous since I’ll be seeing a new therapist for the first time but otherwise fine. You?”
“Not really keen to be here but I got a hunch QWERTY was going to strong-arm me here somehow if I didn’t comply. Considering how fast aers request for me to see someone got approved, I’m assuming ae arranged it all beforehand.” Beyari turned to look at him. “Just out of curiosity: did you happen to have multiple options for therapist?”
Steirdrar’s emotional state turned even more curious. “Uh, yeah, why?”
“I figured someone who didn’t take you got me since QWERTY picked someone Hergon recommended.”
“Oh.” Steirdrar observed her more closely. “You look like you haven’t slept well lately.”
Beyari shrugged. “Nightmares. One of those no-good anniversaries is getting close.” She looked into a distance, twisting her mouth, debating on whether or not to say anything about it. She decided against it, just in case Steirdrar had not heard about the Oshfio Relief Massacre. “One of the worse ones.”
“I see.” Steirdrar hesitated. “If you want to talk about it to someone who’s not a therapist sometime, I have two functional ears to lend.” He tried a small smile.
Beyari chuckled. “Thanks. I think I might-“
“Excuse me,” someone interrupted them in Koltonese. A Kolton with the nametag Kohodold. “You are Ket, correct?”
“That’s me,” Beyari responded in Koltonese. She sensed Steirdrar’s surprise at hearing her speak it. “My turn, huh?”
Kohodold nodded. “That’s correct. I’m sorry to interrupt.”
“It’s fine,” Steirdrar and Beyari both said almost at the same time. Beyari exchanged a smile with him. “Later, then.”
Steirdrar nodded. “Later.”
Beyari heard Steirdrar’s surname getting called before she entered Kohodold’s office after the therapist. She coasted through the usual confidentiality conversation and waited for Kohodold to get to what QWERTY had sent her there for.
“Your CMO told me that you could use some professional help to, I quote, ‘unpack some recent events’. Would you like to catch me up on what has been going on?”
Beyari sighed. “‘Like’ is a strong word but whatever. I’m assuming QWERTY is referring to me having a conversation that affected me heavily, seeing as ae found me crying about it. In a nutshell, a friend of mine has been having a rough time lately and I accidentally made things worse, and that latter part came out only during that conversation. Mind-sense made it even heavier to deal with since I could feel his distress acutely.” She watched, almost envisioning literal cogs turning in Kohodold’s head as the therapist no doubt tried to come up with the best way to interact with her cagey attitude. “For the record, I’m alright now. It was just the immediate fallout that roughed me up. I’ve processed it well enough since then.”
Kohodold was obviously not convinced. “It could still help to go over what exactly happened.”
Beyari resisted the urge to sigh again. “Well, too long; didn’t read: I got carried away while discussing equipment and offered to make him a utility belt since he didn’t want to bother Logistics about it and that offer added to his stress and thus contributed to him winding up on medical leave for severe exhaustion. We talked about it, hugged, he cried, it was hard to handle knowing I had contributed to it.” She shrugged. “A shitty day among plenty shitty days. We’re fine on an interpersonal level now.”
Kohodold nodded along. “There are plenty of those days nowadays. Are there any of those you’d like to talk about while you’re here? You don’t seem particularly well-rested, you know.”
“I suppose there are shitty days I should have talked about ages ago but, you know. ‘Like’ is a strong word. So is ‘want’.” Beyari tapped at the armorplate on her thigh. “It’s almost the anniversary of the Oshfio Relief Massacre, that’s all. Lost my biological parents to it. I always see nightmares of the execution live-stream if I don’t get myself so fucked up I lose the days around the anniversary.” She leaned back, frowning. “And before you say condolences or whatever, it’s not my parents dying or even realizing that Dad was among the prisoners lined up for the execution or seeing him be murdered on the other side of the galaxy that messed me up. I hadn’t spoken a word to them in years. It’s the brutality of the executions. I’d seen and done a good bit of awful but that was many levels worse than any of that. And you can’t unsee it. I saw a Hunters’ Guild therapist about it back then. We all did, who were in a guild safehouse and saw it when the safehouse broadcast frequencies were hijacked. I know how to cope with it.” To her credit, Kohodold did not seem fazed by her standoffishness. Beyari decided to steamroll, “And before you ask, I don’t get myself fucked up like that anymore. Had to stop it when I hit absolute rock bottom long before the war, saw a therapist about it, got back on my feet. Been some 15 years since I last relapsed and crawled back up from that hole.” She waited, projecting defiance to dare the therapist to challenge her words.
Kohodold was not daunted. “Very well. Have you seen any mental health professionals during the war, especially after events like the Massacre on Thyrif or your clan leaving the AIRF?”
Beyari shook her head. “Didn’t have a pressing need.”
“Well, since I have been requested to have multiple sessions with you, perhaps now would be a good time to go over them and any other major shitty days that have affected you long-term?”
Beyari wanted to sigh yet again. “Well, since we are here, I guess I might as well.”
WindySilver 