FFM 2024 23: Thumbs Down

Challenge: Write a story in the style of an online review. The other option is to take the easy mode, where you must write a more conventional story but include a review in it, bonus points if it’s hidden.

I decided to write one in the style of Steam’s reviews.

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Not Recommended

_{2.7 hours on record (2.7 hours at review time)}

Posted: 23 July

When the description said that the game would suck you in, I didn’t think it would mean it literally rather than keeping you hooked. The fact that you have to navigate the game with your body as the avatar, as it is, is even worse. Can you imagine how incredibly difficult it is to try to navigate a world intended for normal-height people as someone with dwarfism? Well, I don’t have to imagine; I can tell from experience that it’s incredibly difficult both IRL and in this game! It really didn’t help that I’m out of shape, which carried over into the game world.

Oh, and the exit button was super hard to find because there’s no damn mandatory tutorial on how to open and navigate the UI in this form of games! What do you devs expect us to be, experts at stuff like this? I’ve never even heard of a game on Steam (or anywhere else) that does this! What the ♥♥♥♥?!

Don’t play this game unless you’re fit and know what you’re doing. Otherwise, you’re going to get yourself anxiety and a phobia that probably doesn’t even have a name yet! You know what, I’m going to coin a name for that phobia right ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ now because I sure as ♥♥♥♥ have it now — vinteopaichnidiavatarmetamorfophobia! There! Now it has a name! And I sure as ♥♥♥♥ enjoyed looking up Greek words and coining that name much more than anything in this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game!