Continuing from FFM 2026 22: Connections and finally getting to the TODO I’ve had since the utility belt offer was introduced into the storyline (lol, what a detour).
9 words over the limit and it kept bouncing around the limit while editing, lol.
“I checked with Frr too. Ae can put in the transfer request for you and you can request both Aetherforl and Kohodold and let the two of them make the selection among themselves.” Hergon’s tone was serious. “It would be good for you to go through with it.”
Steirdrar sighed. The mere idea of dealing with medical bureaucracy and getting to know a new therapist was unnecessary use of his energy but he knew better than to keep arguing with a medical professional about his health. Not that Hergon’s demeanor was leaving much room for arguing. “If you and Doctor Frr think it’s worth the effort, then let’s do it.”
“It is absolutely worth the effort,” Hergon stated firmly. “I’ll let Frr know.”
Steirdrar nodded. “Thank you.”
“Thank you for not arguing with me,” Hergon thanked.
Steirdrar did not know how to appropriately respond to that, so he just nodded again.
Now, he had to get on with declining Beyari’s offer with the “now is not a good time” excuse.
~~~
Beyari did not wait for her break to check Steirdrar’s message, only until she had set the crates where Ardo had told their contents belonged.
Damp’n’FurryII: Hi. When are you free to talk face-to-face? I’ve been cleared for duty and figured I should get talking with you over with. Don’t worry about my stress levels; if I can’t take this much, I certainly can’t take the stress from intelligence work.
Beyari figured she should help unload the crates before answering, so she got on with that.
/~/~DisasterHunter/~/~: I got roped into a warehouse shift, not sure when it ends. Likely before your next rest period starts. I’ll let you know when I get out of here, am free then.
Damp’n’FurryII: OK
Beyari made haste to finish her tasks as soon as possible.
~~~
Beyari noticed a Zemakanita pair leaning against the wall near the warehouse exit. They were not observing Steirdrar specifically but they were also clearly not ignoring him. Not that she was surprised; if the Zemakanita had not already become curious about him like the rest of the base’s Eskel-Zai, they certainly were interested now that Iazyer had started interacting with him.
They made no moves to acknowledge either of them, so she focused on Steirdrar, who was doing his best not to look nervous. “Hi.”
“Hi.” Steirdrar put on a strained smile. “Thank you for agreeing to this at such a short notice.”
“No problem. Do you want us to head to the Afterglow or do you have somewhere else in mind?”
“The Afterglow is fine.”
“Alright. Let’s go then.”
~~~
Sensing how Steirdrar relaxed when Beyari put her hand on his arm in the loungeroom made the urge to hug him even stronger than it had been during their walk the other day. She squashed it. “What do you want to talk about?”
Steirdrar hesitated, his fear spiking. “The utility belt. I… I have to decline. Now’s not the good time for it. Or anything like that.”
Beyari nodded. “Alright.”
Steirdrar looked at her, bemused, like he wanted to ask if she was really going to let the topic go just like that.
Beyari figured she should bring up her own concerns. “…Did I overstep with offer to make it?”
Steirdrar startled. “What do you mean?”
“I’ve been wondering if I put you on the spot with it since you hadn’t said anything about it. I got the feeling you were avoiding it.” Beyari frowned. “If I overstepped and made you uncomfortable or added to your stress, then I must apologize.”
Steirdrar shook his head. “It’s not your fault. It’s all in my head… After all the time I spent spying I haven’t been able to stop feeling like everyone’s out to get me if they just get the opportunity.”
Beyari hummed, looking for the right words (and resisting the urge to hug Steirdrar). “Nevertheless, I apologize. I got carried away and unintentionally caused you extra stress. I apologize for that.”
“I-” Steirdrar looked like he was going to argue but decided against it. “It’s all right. You couldn’t have known it’d affect me like that.”
Beyari nodded and ran her hand up and down Steirdrar’s arm slowly. The little hitch in the Human’s breath affected her more than the shift in his emotional state did. “Well, for future reference: you are always allowed to say no to me, to anything and for any reason. No harm will come to you from that — or if harm does occur, you’re allowed to sic the nearest Eskel-Zai population on me.” She sighed. “Still, I acknowledge that words are free and that it’s actions that actually say anything worthwhile, whether it’s for or against the words. It’s up to you to determine whether or not you feel comfortable and safe enough to let my actions speak for me over time.”
Steirdrar both looked and felt a little lost. The more he opened and closed his mouth, whatever words he wanted to say not making it all the way, the more Beyari wanted to hold him close and try to ease his distress.
“You don’t have to say anything that doesn’t come naturally,” Beyari assured gently.
“I-” whatever words were supposed to come got stuck in Steirdrar’s throat. He whispered, “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” Beyari spent a little too much time watching the lost look in Steirdrar’s eyes. Her resolve crumbled. “May I hug you? To comfort you, if that’s okay?”
The tiny broken noise and the fervent “yes — yes please” that Steirdrar breathed as an immediate response would never stop haunting her, she was sure about that.
The desperately tight way Steirdrar clung to her the moment she had wrapped her arms around his waist and the onslaught of NEED that struck her Mind-sense, the whispered and quietly sobbed thank yous, the tears that soaked Steirdrar’s jacket, they would also stick with her.
Beyari held on tight and said all the quiet words of comfort she could think of to her friend.
No hugging or bursting into tears in front of Beyari was supposed to happen this soon in Steirdrar’s storyline but after the hell detour that’s been most of this month it had to happen.
WindySilver 