Continuing from FFM 2026 13: Hungover, with Cou-2 stealing the spotlight for a bit (against my plans, but who am I to say no to these people?).
This is definitely (among) my weakest of this FFM, if not all of Whoops, so far and might get reworked for the Full Collection release, but right now I’m releasing it the way it is, with less editing than it needs/deserves because all my fucks are currently Extremely Occupied, my brain’s RAM and storage space are overfull and therefore my thought processes are hanging and therefore I am not dealing with this story any more than I can or have to right now.
I’d pray to Hydra for mercy either in general or for tomorrow (Thursday, AKA a challenge day, judging from the pattern) but we all know how not well that’d go.
Cou-2 kept things professional when they made it to the apartment C’zlu’s family lived in. They were getting looks from the civilians — courier Mechs were rare in the civilian parts of the base, Infini’tech Labs Mechs much less so — but they ignored it. They had a job to do.
An elderly female Nvion opened the door when Cou-2 rang the doorbell — C’zlu’s mother, D’zion. The espionage programming caught the shout of joy about finding the recipient so easily. “How can I help you?”
“I come with a request from Agent QWERTY.” Cou-2 started playing a recording of QWERTY’s request, “I would appreciate help with reining Platoonier C’zlu’s conduct in. I would much rather not burden Command by escalating this to them, but I also cannot let this contempt towards my partner continue unaddressed.”
D’zion’s expression was concerned. “What would I need to do?”
Cou-2 took the memory card from their smallest compartment. “This memory card has recordings of Platoonier C’zlu’s inappropriate conduct. All you need to do is review them and address their contents with Platoonier C’zlu as you see fit.”
D’zion took the memory card to inspect it. Her expression was doubtful. “Do you know what kind of conduct this is about?”
“Only the gist: Platoonier C’zlu is speaking highly ill things of Agent QWERTY’s partner, Agent Ket.” Cou-2 paused to fake hesitation. “They are also saying awful things about my buddy who helped me escape the Infini’Republic, Commander Urrang, and he is likely mentioned in the recordings too since he is friends with Agent Ket, but Agent QWERTY is concerned about aers partner first and foremost.”
“I see.” D’zion seemed convinced. “I’ll see what I can do.”
The espionage programming caught another excited response. “Thank you kindly.”
“Could you please give Agent QWERTY my thanks for bringing this to my attention?”
“Naturally.”
“Thank you… Oh, I never got your name.”
Cou-2 let out a happy chirp. “I’m Cou-2.”
D’zion inclined her head, smiling. “Thank you, Cou-2.”
Cou-2 allowed more excited responses to come through.
~~~
Beyari resisted the urge to smirk when she found QWERTY, if only because they were in public. “The civilian grapevine says some guy got super reamed out by their mother. Apparently, said mother received a recording of some nasty things the guy had said. Some people are even saying they got kicked out of the apartment they live in.”
“It’s lighter on Command to handle some people by siccing rightfully angry parents who raised them better than this on them,” QWERTY responded without missing a beat. “For those who come from backgrounds where family is important, it’s also far more effective than anything Command can do.”
Beyari chuckled. “Devious.”
“Nothing less than what they deserve.”
~~~
There was something to be said about how quickly all on-base gossip made it to the Intelligence department. Steirdrar could not avoid finding out what no good Cou-2 had been up to: delivering comeuppance to the next target of QWERTY’s project, this time by telling the target’s mother about the awful conduct. That comeuppance had clearly been brutal, not that he was surprised.
Apparently, Cou-2 had also endeared themself (and by some association Steirdrar) to the target’s mother. Most of the people gossiping in the office found it hilarious while Steirdrar just wondered how that association, whatever exactly it was, had come up. It cannot have been too shoehorned in, after all.
He figured it was for the best to tune the gossiping out once he had gotten all the actually interesting details and focused on work again. If he kept listening after the gossiping turned to his and Beyari’s relationship, he might start to overthink the utility belt thing. He should not overthink that while he was working (not unless he wanted to ruin his productivity completely, that is, and he most certainly did not).
He would have to make that decision fairly soon but for now, he had work to do. Work came first. His own messy life came after it.
If only it would be as easy to navigate as backing out of QWERTY’s project.
WindySilver 