FFM 2025 30: Explanation(s)

Continuing directly from the end of FFM 2025 29: Revelation(s), since the excess words from the end of it were moved to this story. Only 14 words over the limit, so not that big of a pain to prune.

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Beyari leaned back, ready to rehash how she usually explained Mind-sense to other people. “I can sense nearby people’s emotions that are on the surface passively. I can sense them more acutely if I focus, but it’s got a high risk of those emotions sweeping me away and throwing me off-balance, so I avoid doing that. Conversely, I can also block my Mind-sense out if I focus in the opposite direction.”

Commander Urrang nodded. “I see. I was mostly told of how Mind-gifted can feed off of others’ emotions. The IRS training material made it sound like that makes the person that emotion originates from unable to feel it in the moment.”

“That’s an advanced and somewhat frowned upon technique. What most Mind-gifted call ‘feeding off of others’ emotions’ is them getting into a feedback loop from just sensing that emotion. Very risky if you lack self-discipline.” A part of Beyari wanted to say I should know but she held her tongue. No need to burden Commander Urrang with all that when he was already grappling with her status as an Inzin.

Commander Urrang started to relax again. “Huh…”

“If you want to fact-check, I’ve got the six shaman orders’ training materials from back in the day. I can send a copy of them to you.”

“I’d appreciate that; I’ve likely been fed more misinformation than I thought.” The calculative look came back to Commander Urrang’s face, now tinged with curiosity. “The field agents of the IRS are trained to recognize and withstand techniques used by Mind-gifted enemies but at least my class wasn’t taught about the basics of Mind-sense.”

“I’d hazard a guess that it’s because you can’t defend against it. If you try to hide or suppress your emotions to avoid detection, it just highlights you to every nearby Mind-gifted who has even a bit of training. You’re less likely to give yourself away if you’re unaware that someone near you might sense your emotional state.”

Commander Urrang crossed his arms. “That would make sense, I suppose. I was trained to view Mind-gifted enemies as combatants whose weapon isn’t anything physical but something that affects my psyche. Knowing that such an enemy would also be aware of how I was feeling at any given moment would hinder anyone’s performance since it would likely lead to overthinking things over taking swift action.”

Beyari nodded. She could already sense it happen; Commander Urrang’s emotions were shifting, squirming even, the human subconsciously trying to present a better image of himself to her by trying to cover up the emotions he was insecure about.

A part of her wanted to hug him and reassure him that whatever he was feeling was fine. She resisted the urge; that would have been too much this early into their friendship — she wanted to call their relationship that already — especially since Commander Urrang was very likely to be touch-starved. The revelation that the Eskel-Zai he had been interacting with for the last weeks was an Inzin was shock enough for one evening.

The part of her that had never let go of her long-forsaken identity of Wara shaman apprentice Zerela Thath-Prela caught onto the urge and thought about how even decades later the compulsion to protect from her time playing bodyguard kept rearing its head.

Beyari shook that thought off, shoving the embittered bit of Zerela that still hung onto existence back into the corner of her mind where it belonged. She had done her best to help defend Yak-Dayn from his curse’s effects on the field and it had not been enough. That was it. Nothing could change that.

All she could change was how she acted in each present moment — and in this present moment, being too overbearing was only going to push Commander Urrang away.

Commander Urrang shook his head. “I guess you can sense me overthinking again?”

“If I knew your emotional patterns better, I could deduce that you’re overthinking from what I’m sensing. Now, all I can tell is that you’re uneasy.”

“Oh…” Commander Urrang scratched his neck, his emotional state and body language both screaming sheepishness.

“You don’t have to worry about my Mind-sense. Whatever you’re feeling is fine; there are no right or wrong emotions, after all,” Beyari tried to reassure.

“Right.” Commander Urrang was not particularly mollified; his body language did ease somewhat yet anxiety started to gnaw at the sheepishness.

Beyari resisted the urge to touch again; it was more than likely that Commander Urrang was from a culture where touch was not anywhere near as freely given as in Pryzis and shaman communities, so trying to use touch to ease her friend’s feelings was too likely to be overstepping.

Commander Urrang eyed her, catching onto something. “You’re holding yourself back.” Once again, he left the question unvoiced.

“I’m from cultures where touch is a notable part of communication,” Beyari decided to lead with. “I figured you’re probably used to having more personal space than me.”

Surprise overran Commander Urrang’s sheepishness. “Oh. Well…” He hesitated. “I… I wouldn’t mind. If you touched me, that is. If that’s part of how you communicate.”

“Are you sure?” Beyari asked.

Commander Urrang nodded.

“Alright then.” Beyari took care to telegraph her hand’s movement to her friend’s shoulder. She laid her hand on it as lightly as she could, ready to move away if needed.

Commander Urrang first tensed, then relaxed. Beyari put a bit more weight into her touch. Commander Urrang nodded, flashing a genuine smile. Beyari took a proper, gentle grip, keeping an eye on both her friend’s body language and swirling emotions.

“I like that,” Commander Urrang murmured.

“That’s good to hear.” Beyari matched his volume.

Commander Urrang hummed, finally properly relaxing. His emotional state started to be taken over by longing, his body leaning a bit towards Beyari’s, only for both to get restrained.

Beyari said nothing. One day, they might be comfortable enough to hug.

The part of her that was touch-starved looked forward to it.