FFM 2025 23: Tiredness

I just did not have the energy to edit and post this yesterday, but it is still the 23rd somewhere in the world (at least where FFM’s Keeper of Hours is) so technically I’m still on time!

This one is a follow-up to FFM 2025 20: Contemplation and FFM 2025 21: Dream.

---

The first sun had already risen by the time Beyari emerged from the plant room. QWERTY eyed her and the harvested lemongrass she carried to the galley. “One of those dreams again?”

“Yeah.” Beyari set up the kettle to boil water. “Rough enough to make Yak-Dayn cry.”

As if learning about those dreams wouldn’t make him cry regardless of how rough they were. “Did something you discussed with Commander Urrang trigger it?”

Beyari shook her head, leaning against the counter to face QWERTY. “It was just the same old guilt-fueled stuff.”

“I see.” It was likely about — or connected to — Commander Urrang anyway, considering the fact that Beyari had not had a bad dream of the ‘out-of-character-Yak-Dayn’ format in five Standard Months. “How are you feeling?”

Beyari shrugged. “Gardening helped. I just need to remind myself that it was my guilt and fears talking there, not anything real.”

QWERTY nodded. “Do you require assistance with that?”

“Not for now. Thanks, though.”

“Anytime.” As much as ae hated it, QWERTY once again thanked aers lucky stars for the incident that finally pushed Beyari into seeking therapy. Even decades later, the improvements to her mental health and ability to cope with her past still showed.

~~~

Steirdrar was so damn tired. He must have dreamed about fighting on the field, judging from how exhausted he felt when he woke up. Maybe something about Folga, knowing his subconsciousness.

The work would not do itself, unfortunately, which meant that he had to drag himself to breakfast and then to the office. He could only hope that either enough caffeine or a catnap after his shift would restore his energy enough to make him able to spar; he was starting to feel like he was constantly making excuses not to go through with it, or at least that it looked like it.

He would have to hope that Agent Ket would understand. Maybe the bags under his eyes would be large enough to show that he had not slept well.

He had to hope.

~~~

Beyari sat in the plant room, breathing in the smell of Fateguiders and the lemongrass tea in her hands. It smelled so much like the last stationary place she had seen as her home — the quarters she shared with Yak-Dayn. Even decades after the last time she set foot in them, the smell calmed her.

If it was not for the endless bond pain gnawing within her chest, it would be easy to imagine Yak-Dayn sitting next to her, an identical cup of lemongrass tea in his hands. A shared moment of calm and peace, preparing them to face the day and whatever it would bring with it.

Now, she was alone in the moment, the hum of her ship’s systems making it clear that she was not on Frio-Lont. There was much less calm and peace overall to be had, both within her and all across the war-torn galaxy, but she still anchored herself into it. She had more intel to seek out and analyze with QWERTY and, if she was lucky, Commander Urrang would be ready for their rematch tonight, once he was done with his own shift.

She did hope that Commander Urrang would be up for a spar today, even if she would not be at her best. If nothing else, it would give her something positive to think about.

She had to hope.

~~~

QWERTY decided starting aers shift early would help aer take aers mind off of aers worries. Beyari might be doing far better nowadays thanks to therapy, but that did not mean that she still did not struggle with everything that had gone wrong in her life. The timing of yet another ‘out-of-character-Yak-Dayn’-formatted bad dream downright screamed that.

That could be a good thing; the powers that be knew that she could use more working through all that stuff, and QWERTY could easily bet a turn at having to harvest the fruit from the Plucker tree that Commander Urrang was the same way with his own host of issues and trauma.

Honestly, ae would not be surprised if ae ever heard the human say something about there not being any absolution for him. He certainly had expressed a similar enough way of thinking already for something like that.

Ae would have to hope that this would not backfire on either of them somewhere down the line. There was so much potential for Beyari and Commander Urrang to help each other.

Ae had to hope.

~~~

Steirdrar was surprised to spot Agent Ket in the mess hall after his shift. The Eskel-Zai was browsing something on her tablet as she ate, once again alone.

Somehow, she looked even more tired than before. Or maybe Steirdrar was projecting. Either way, he approached her. People nearby paid attention to it.

Agent Ket looked up and gave him a smirk. “Evenin’, iasa’net’tea.”

Steirdrar could not help snorting. “Again with that?”

“I’m not wrong.” Agent Ket set her tablet down, screen turned off, as Steirdrar sat opposite to her. “In case you’re up for a spar, I have to warn I’m not at my best. Didn’t sleep particularly well last night.”

Steirdrar pretended he was not relieved. “Admittedly, it’s the same for me. Some other day?”

“Yeah, let’s try some other day.” Agent Ket pierced a vegetable with her fork, looking pleased. “The powers that be must grow bored of messing up our plan for a rematch at some point.”

~~~

Beyari observed Commander Urrang. The human was clearly not in any state to spar, what with the air of tiredness he gave off. She wondered if he, too, had been dealing with bad dreams last night. She did not pry, though; it was none of her business and she doubted Commander Urrang would appreciate the question any more than she would appreciate it from him.

Some other day, they would get to spar. She would make sure she would get the chance at some point.

Some other day for sure.