I’m compiling an index of my stories and I came across a handful of old stories that I can’t publish (or alternatively won’t post to Archive Of Our Own) because of copyright reasons and/or because they’re too low-quality. So, for the sake of archiving, I’m compiling them to this post, for what it’s worth. These probably aren’t worth a read but at least they’re here if someone wants to check them out or something. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Table of contents
- Warriors fanfiction: Night of Two Lights
- Code Lyoko: Routine of a Lyoko Warrior
- Conversation about Everything
- Blood shortage
- Glinting
- Pokémon TAGJ special: Thieves in the Forest
- Weird shit 6-word story
- Revolutionist
- Chase on Eden
- The Meeting of Nurse Joys
- Fan Art Mashup: A hidden bar
- CRLit’s Mad Libs: WindySilver’s Takes
- #SaveHoofs
- Addendum
Warriors fanfiction: Night of Two Lights (FFM 2015, 25/7/2015)
Challenge from a Challenge Me challenge from OnLinedPaper: 1) your story must occur in a wheatfield at dusk, 2) no humans allowed! 3) there should be TWO lights on the horizon; the sun is one, 4) it’ll be a night to remember…
Could I have posted this on AO3? Sure, but I wanted to limit clutter to my profile, so I put this here instead.
The dusk had come. This night was going to be an exceptional one. Two lights were on the sky; the descending sun and the rising moon. Many claimed a night like this one to be one when the spirits from StarClan come to visit the living cats.
Wildheart did not believe for sure that it was true. But if it is, let them come, he thought. Meanwhile he would stay with his loved one, Ripplewind, on a vast field where an odd type of same vegetation grew. Wildheart and Ripplewind both ignored that and enjoyed the beautiful sky and each other’s company.
“You know, I wonder if Skypaw comes from the StarClan to see me,” Ripplewind sighed. Wildheart’s ear twitched a little. He caught himself wondering if his mentor, Frogfur, would come to him.
“I do not know. But I do know one thing,” he said.
“What do you know, then?” Ripplewind asked.
“Even if the cats from StarClan don’t come to us, this is a night to remember them.”
“Then let’s remember.”
Code Lyoko: Routine of a Lyoko Warrior (FFM 2015, 27/7/2015)
“X.A.N.A. attacks!”
Yes, once again.
“I’ll be right there.”
Once again.
I rushed to the factory. Jeremy virtualized me to Lyoko and I joined others to destroy monsters.
At least they are meant to be destroyed. Too bad that it can’t be said about my grades.
The last monsters let out their shout before Odd shot them. Aelita ran to the tower and deactivated it. Once again.
“Return to the past, now!”
Once again.
This is the routine of a Lyoko Warrior.
Conversation about Everything (FFM 2015, 28/7/2015)
This mess is a result of a David Bowie Day challenge where you got points based on what you included (with a minimum of 150) and I, of course, went overboard with it. It’s got some Star Wars stuff, which definitely makes it unpublishable from the copyright standpoint, and you could argue that the overuse of the David Bowie song titles would also adds to that. Hence, this was excluded from Modern Problem. Addendum has the points tallied.
“So who is he?” asked Jean.
“He is the new Killer Star,” Ziggy told.
“Killer Star? I thought he was known as Starkiller,” Major Tom noted. “There’s the Hutt coming. Hide that book!”
“What are you doing?” asked Aladdin, the Hutt who had just come to join the group.
“Just talking about a better future,” told Jareth.
“A better future?” Aladdin repeated and laughed. “You, Jareth, the goblin king, talking about a better future?”
“They talk,” Jareth responded. “I’m not telling lies.”
“Ziggy,” Aladdin called.
“What?” asked Ziggy. “This is not America is that’s what you’re asking.”
Everyone laughed.
“The life of Mars ain’t that sad,” Ziggy noted with a feminine voice; he had changed his gender again. He knew what he was talking about; after all, he was a morphing spider from Mars.
“All right. Major Tom, the space man who fell to earth, why are you here?” Aladdin asked.
Major Tom took his raygun and pointed it at the Hutt.
“Waiting for Joe the Lion, Rosalyn, Shadow Man and seven others,” he told.
“Shadow Man? The guy who sold the world to the little drummer boy?” Jareth asked.
“John, I’m only dancing!” came a shout.
“Yes, that guy,” Ziggy told.
“The Dreamers spent seven years in Tibet!” someone else said in the approaching crew.
They joined them. And THEN the chatter TRULY began.
“Wait, what? Did the Saviour Machine really save Crystal Japan?”
“It did. He was looking for satellites there.”
“Hey, that’s Lady Stardust, aka Liza Jane!”
“Yup. She wrote a letter to Hermione.”
“Really? Where will she stay?”
“At The Laughing Gnome.”
“Do we have time to go there?”
“Nah, time will crawl if we get there.”
“Some claim I dig everything at Valentine’s Day.”
“You need to knock on wood, Big Brother.”
“Hey, the Bewlay brothers! When did you get here?”
“At least before the Buddha on Suburbia arrived.”
“Good! That Thursday’s child is worse than young Americans! We shall go to the town if he gets us. Someone watch that man, ok?”
“Sure, but don’t worry, he’s under pressure already. We all go through it before the wedding song and weeping wall.”
“Zion, where are you going tonight?”
“I’ll go and see Velvet Goldmine and The Supermen survive Wood Jackson and his word on a wing underground.”
“They’ll win for sure. I wouldn’t be that sure about Sue the Jean Genie if she was put there.”
“That would be a brilliant adventure. At least if someone would bring me the disco king!”
“People would be breaking glass before that.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Blue Jean Bombers could shut up, but it seems that the two of you can’t.”
“Hey!”
“That’s not fair, Neuköln!”
“So now I’m not the queen bitch, huh?”
“Err…”
*smack*
“That’s exactly what ya get, Warzawa.”
“Yassassin, shut up.”
“Shutting up, for all saints.”
“What in the world are you talking about?”
“Listen, isn’t Art Decade just ending?”
“Yes, then I, Aladdin Sane, will recede to go around and around as the world falls down.”
“And I, Ziggy Stardust, will leave for Amsterdam and the holy holy “heroes”. Ah, I feel free already!”
“Why?”
“I can’t explain just like I can’t read. But I pray, olé! I pray that I keep forgettin’ the quicksand!”
“Since when have you forgotten anything?”
“Never, but I like being lost in an occasional dream.”
Here today, gone tomorrow shall their conversation be.
Blood shortage (Flash Prompts 3, 17/10/2016)
Challenge: the story must feature classic monsters (“in the vein of the Mummy, Dracula, the Invisible Man, etc.”), include both the horror and comedy genres and take place in a “period” time setting (anything set before the 1950s qualified for the challenge).
In this story, the Star Wars element made this unpublishable and, frankly, the quality is too low to justify cluttering my AO3 profile with it, so I put this here rather than AO3 (I suppose I could set up a pseud for archive-only works to keep them separate from my main profile but that’s a project for another time).
Who would have guessed that the Count Dracula would have ended up into such a shortage of blood that he had to take the lightsaber of another count and force people to stay still long enough so that he would get enough blood for a month. Or a day.
The shortage had been going on for the five years of the 1890s and he had absolutely no idea how he would get to the end of it. The lightsaber seemed to keep working on his victims, but he knew why the shortage had begun.
The humans had started using garlic so much that they disgusted even each other and stayed away from… basically everywhere.
But there was now one victim. Count Dooku… No, I mean Count Dracula, activated his elegant red-bladed, curved lightsaber, and struck his fangs to his target. The human could only scream.
Glinting (Flash Prompts 4, 18/10/2016)
Challenge: The story should open with a narrative hook, the main character must be in the process of losing their mind and you cannot explicitly tell us that the character is losing their mind, only show it.
Technically speaking, this story does not include anything copyrighted, but since it falls under my Exceptional Jedi project, I decided against releasing it with the majority of my Flash Prompts stories in Modern Problem.
Moon glinted off broken glass.
Alexander’s arms trembled worse than ever before, drops of blood falling down on his skin. There was his friend’s body even though it should not be, he had not been there. Heartbeat feeling erratic, the young man jumped to his feet and dashed out, colors bleeding out of the darkening rooms. Or was it his eyes’ color sight bleeding away?
Moon glinted off missing glass. Alexander felt like the continuous glinting was burning his eyes out of his head, strength of the sun fading out when the night prevailed.
“I have won, haven’t I?” the dark voice came at the screaming man, having now caught him with delight.
“Now you cannot escape me.”
“Never…”
Pokémon TAGJ special: Thieves in the Forest (20/10/2016)
Background: This is the first (and only) release of my Pokémon fanfiction series The Adventurer Girl’s Journey (TAGJ for short), which was later reworked into A Wandering Aura with a protagonist of a different name. This special is set quite late in the HeartGold and SoulSilver chapter, indicated by Silver’s Alakazam knowing Psychic.
In any case, this story was a submission to a contest held by Velvet-Rainbow, which was quite simple: the participant had to write or draw about their OC interacting with Velvet-Rainbow’s OC. I decided to choose an OC of their’s which had not been around much at all: Hikaru.
Could I have posted this on AO3 as an AWA prototype? Yeah, but it could confuse readers, so I figured I might as well stick this here at least for now.
It was Hikaru whom Mieshi had found in the forest. It had taken many Sitrus berries to make her recover her strength, but Mieshi wanted to help the fainted Torchic. She did not know what had happened to the poor Pokémon with a green cape, but she was eager to find out.
“What is it, Mieshi?” Emerald asked his partner as he came to her.
“A Torchic, I don’t know what’s happened to it, but it was lying on the ground, fainted”, Mieshi explained. “Something’s not right about around here.”
“You don’t say?” Emerald scoffed and showed the girl a broken net. “This whole flipping place is full of traps. I called Officer Jenny, but I don’t know when she will make it here. The Pokémon thieves are causing havoc everywhere.“
” Let’s keep our guards up, then”, Mieshi replied solemnly. “They’re close enough from our position, so we’d better be careful.”
The Grovyle nodded. “How’s birdy? Ready to get out of here?“
“I am!” Hikaru snapped and got up. “And the name’s Hikaru, not birdy!“
“Okay, then, Hikaru. No need to get angry!” Emerald said. “I’m not the dude with aura skills, she is!“
“Thank you, Emerald”, Mieshi said. “So, Hikaru, how did you get injured?”
“I avoided some traps but got noticed some people. They started shooting at me“, Hikaru explained. “They didn’t hit me, so they run and tried to beat me down. I barely managed to escape. But… do you understand what I am saying?“
“Yes, I understand the Pokémon language. I was raised by some forest Pokémon, so I guess that’s why I understand your speech”, Mieshi answered. “Or maybe it’s just my aura abilities… I don’t know. All I know is that I can understand you guys.”
Hikaru looked at the girl suspectingly. A human that understood the Pokémon language? That was completely unheard of! But the way the girl responded to her and Emerald’s words were so coherent that it could not be anything else.
A crack sounded and everyone turned to look to the direction of the sound.
Who is there? Emerald shouted via telepathy. Identify yourself!
Nothing happened, and no one moved. But Mieshi sensed better than that.
“Show yourself, you moron! Or are you one of the Pokémon thieves now?” she said angrily. A boy with red hair looked at her angrily as he came to the view.
“I guess you want to have a battle now, Silver, but we’re too busy now. Those Pokémon thieves must be stopped”, Mieshi explained.
“It’s Team Rocket, not just random individual thieves”, Silver replied.
Well crap! Emerald growled. Let’s go get ’em!
“We need a plan first, Emerald”, Mieshi reminded her partner. “There are traps all over the place. Plus, we don’t know where they are yet.”
“Your aura skills would be useful now, Mieshi”, Silver said, earning a surprised glance from the girl and her partner; it was not in the habits of this person to say something like that, especially politely.
“Yeah. Time to use it, then”, Mieshi said and closed her eyes, concentrating on the aura.
Traps. Traps. Traps. More traps. And even more traps. A couple of scared Pokémon. Then… Team Rocket. Right in the middle of the forest full of traps.
“Found them. But they are surrounded by all the traps which are here”, Mieshi noted. “How do we proceed, then? Get rid of the traps or fly over them right to Team Rocket?”
You don’t have any flying types that can carry us, do you, Silver? Emerald asked.
“No flying types, but Alakazam learned Psychic recently. He can lift us”, Silver said as he threw one of his Poké Balls to the air, revealing his Alakazam. “Let’s go.”
Alakazam said nothing as his eyes and body started to glow as he lifted both himself and the two humans and Emerald.
“Hey! Aren’t you taking me with you?!” Hikaru yelled.
“Do you want to come?” Emerald asked.
“Well yeah! ” Hikaru replied.
“Alakazam, can you get Hikaru up here too? She wants to come with us”, Mieshi asked. As a reply the mute Alakazam lifted the Torchic to their level.
“Which way?” Silver asked.
“That way.” Mieshi pointed to the north. “To the clearing, they are there! Those bastards have even logged! Poor trees and the Pokémon which lived in them!”
“Time to smash some Rocket skulls!” Emerald said, punching his fists together. “Let’s go!“
Suddenly Alakazam’s powers started to fail and Emerald fell.
“Emerald!” Mieshi shouted, noticing that Alakazam’s grip was fading on everyone else. She did not see her partner when the Grovyle fell under the treetops, but she sensed that he managed to make a good landing on a tree. His telepathic yell I’m okay! reassured her even more.
Get to the clearing there, Alakazam can’t hold onto us all anymore. Be careful, the girl told Emerald.
Copy that. See ya there was the answer before Emerald’s aura signature started moving rapidly through the trees.
“Alakazam, how many can you hold onto?” Silver asked. Alakazam raised two of his fingers.
“Hooty, come here and carry Hikaru!” Mieshi called her Noctowl who took Hikaru immediately after coming out of the Poké Ball.
“One more”, Silver said. “Alakazam is carrying himself too, so one of us must go by other means.”
Mieshi knew that. And she was certain that Alakazam had learned the move recently to have completely mastered it. While she didn’t know whether Alakazam’s muteness was from Silver’s harsh treatment or a reason independent from the red-haired trainer, she could sense that the Pokémon was in good health which meant that the reason for Alakazam’s inability to carry them all with his Psychic was because of not having mastered it.
“Who will we drop? Your Noctowl can’t carry any of us, neither does my Golbat”, Silver said, biting his lip.
He knew as well as Mieshi did that they had not any Pokémon that could carry any of them in their parties.
“Drop me. I can follow Emerald on the trees”, Mieshi said then.
“What? But… won’t you get injured when you fall?” Silver asked.
“Emerald made it. I will too. Alakazam, quickly, let go of me before both you and Silver fall down too”, Mieshi said. Alakazam only nodded gratefully and let the girl slip from his Psychic. Silver stared in horror as he watched Mieshi fall, but he did not shout as the girl shrank in his view until finally disappearing into the woods just like Emerald had just a moment ago. Then he could only wonder if she had made it down alive.
Had she not, he would have to face both Team Rocket and a grief-stricken Emerald alone. No, not alone, he reminded himself. He had his Pokémon by his side, just like Mieshi does. Just how many times had she said that? Silver had not counted.
Hooty, Hikaru, Silver and Alakazam got to the clearing just when Mieshi arrived there, having scratches and a slightly bleeding wound on her, but otherwise well.
“Emerald got caught by a trap and was brought here. We’ll have to face them without him. Hooty, you go get Officer Jenny here. Check for the traps with Foresight when you’re on the way back here if she doesn’t come here in the air”, Mieshi told.
“Okay“, Hooty replied and left to fly towards the edge of the forest.
Now they had attracted the attention of the Team Rocket Grunts. Silver growled in anger as he saw them, already ready to challenge and smash the criminals he hated so much. But Mieshi knew better; she put her hand on the boy’s shoulder to stop him from rushing at them and walked towards the Team Rocket Grunts first, ready to see their reaction.
“Intruders! Stop them! Arbok, use Wrap on the girl!” one of the Grunts yelled as he threw his Poké Ball, his fellows following his example and commanding their Pokémon to attack the intruding trainers and Pokémon.
“Mieshi!” Hikaru shouted as the Arbok closed in on the trainer.
Mieshi breathed, allowing her frightened feelings be absorbed into usage of the Poké Ball’s Pokémon. The Arbok came closer, and she knew it was time.
“Eria, use Psybeam!” she told as she called the Pokémon she had decided to use. Eria the Misdreavus came and acted faster than the Team Rocket Grunt’s Arbok, causing the Cobra Pokémon to fly back to its trainer. The power of Eria’s Psybeam had thrown the Arbok back despite its opposite power, the Arbok’s movement towards Mieshi.
When the short battle was over, Mieshi, having been deaf to the noise, realized that everyone else was caught up in their battles too. The Arbok’s trainer alongside his Pokémon was incapacitated as the 65-kilo Pokémon had fallen on him. It was time for Mieshi to find the captured Pokémon and set them free. But as she made her way to the cages, a police helicopter came to their view alongside Hooty. The Team Rocket Grunts, now realizing they had been defeated, tried to make a run for it, but Silver who had called his Feraligator and Golbat to aid Alakazam stood in their way with his Pokémon.
It was only when Emerald and the other Pokémon had been freed and the traps turned off and called back via the control system used by the Team Rocket Grunts that Mieshi realized that Hikaru was nowhere to be seen.
“Any idea where Hikaru went? Silver, Alakazam? Did you see her leave?” Mieshi asked.
“Sorry, no idea”, Silver answered. Alakazam, however, walked closer to her, closed his eyes and gave her a vision: Hikaru heard someone call for her and since she had nothing to do to help, she went to the caller.
“I hope she found her friends”, Mieshi said once the vision ended. Alakazam nodded, wordlessly agreeing with the girl.
So, what now? Shall we leave now that the excitement is over and Officer Jenny can handle this? Emerald asked.
“Yeah, let’s go. It’s time for us to move on from here”, Mieshi noted. “Silver, where are you going from here?”
“Somewhere”, the boy had already turned his back on the others and started to walk away.
“Talkative as ever, isn’t he?” Emerald noted.
“Yeah. Well, whatever, it’s Silver we’re talking about. Let’s just get going, I want to get to a Pokémon Center before nightfall”, Mieshi said and turned her back on Silver, moving to the opposite direction.
“Sure“, Emerald said and followed his partner.
He, too, wanted to rest after this day. Getting caught to a nasty trap was enough for one day. Or a month. Or a year. Emerald did not know, now he only wanted to rest.
If he only knew Rest, but he did not.
“Hey, I wonder if Hikaru’s tired too from today“, he noted.
“Perhaps, Emerald, perhaps…”
Weird shit 6-word story (26/11/2016)
Background: I was just talking on Steam and for no apparent reason I lost connection to it even though my laptop didn’t lose connection to internet. That event birthed this little piece of trash that I’m not planning on releasing in a collection.
Weird shit also known as technology.
Revolutionist (Flash Prompts 5, 1/1/2017)
Challenge: Go to the Story Shack Flash Fiction Writing Prompt Generator and generate prompts. Copy the results and generate 4 more prompts. Then, choose one element from each of the five generated prompts, ending up with one Word count, Genre, Character, Material, Sentence to Use and a Bonus if you got one. Finally, post the results in the comments of the challenge journal and write and post a story based on the prompt.
My prompts were the following: 550 words, crime genre, a programmer as a character, glass as material, “Do you enjoy hurting people?” as the sentence and Your character is imprisoned. as the bonus.
As with Glinting, this is included in my Exceptional Jedi project and as such excluded from Modern Problem.
“Do you enjoy hurting people?” I gasped, fighting against the medieval chains that held me stuck to the wall.
“Why, yes, I do enjoy it,” he said. He, Revolutionist, had committed more crimes than I could imagine, and I had been a fool to think I could catch him with my codes. I had programmed what I had thought to be the perfect way of catching him, and what had it led me to? A trap Revolutionist had created for me via my own code. And I had fallen for it and paid for it now. Damn my stupidity. Dammit.
The shattered glass under my feet shone with the faint light in the room I was stuck in. What a terrible fool had I been to think I could catch a criminal as famous and elusive as Revolutionist… The visions of fame and finally getting work had blinded my reason, I suppose.
It did not change the fact that I was stuck here, hopeless and wounded by the glass. The police had not been able to locate Revolutionist’s hideout and I had been stupid enough not to let them know. And nobody knew where I had gone, I had not left even a note at my apartment.
I wonder if anyone notices I’m gone. I’ll rot here or wherever I’ll be hauled to for weeks before the authorities notice that I’m missing.
I had no place to run to when Revolutionist came again to torture me more with the shards of glass. Yet sometimes he took a break from it, treated my bleeding wounds and just… talked. He was twisted, I could feel it. And it was obvious, of course. At one moment he commits a crime against me and next he treats me, as if to make amends. I just don’t understand it. Why?
Why me? Why not just shoot me and throw me into a garbage chute? Why… why does he keep here? I’m just a mere young foolish programmer. Why… why did he choose me?
He’s told stories. It felt like he was yearning for letting them out. As if… as if he wanted me to carry them. To be his backup copy in case he was captured and… killed.
“You know, I have to keep this image in everyone’s eyes; cruel criminal with no heart. It protects me from the imps. But I want it to end, I’m sick of this. You now know what I know. Could you please pass it onto the next one?” the Revolutionist suddenly freed me of my chains and gave a small data chip. “Can I trust you to give it to the one who comes to see me and whom I send to you?”
“Why?” I asked.
“Because I chose you to be my only hope. And the next one can get you off this place, get you work. Can you… be the hero that rose against my capture and captured me instead?” now Revolutionist took off his hood and revealed his… no, her face.
“Let her help you just like you helped me,” she said. “Leave into a new life.”
“I’ll do it. Thank you,” I said.
“The rest is up to you,” she rasped and offered a blaster. I took it.
It was time to go now.
Chase on Eden (Flash Prompts 6, 31/1/2017)
Challenge: Make a list of your five favorites books (no need for any particular order but try to avoid books from the same series if possible). Take the antagonist from the first book, the protagonist from the second, the opening sentence from the third, the setting from the fourth and the genre from the fifth and use them to write a story.
The books I chose and what I have from them:
1) Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J.K.Rowling. Antagonist: Peter Pettigrew.
2) Lohikäärmeen värit (“Dragon’s Colors”) by Pasi Pekkola. Protagonist: Kimi.
3) Jedi Apprentice 8: The Day of Reckoning by Jude Watson. Opening sentence: “The sleek spaceliner Leviathan was jammed with passengers.”
4) Eden Symbiotic by Meriah Smith. Setting: Eden.
5) The Hobbit, or There and Back Again by J.R.R.Tolkien. Genre: fantasy.
Due to its poor quality, this mashup is not something I want cluttering my AO3 profile, much like Blood shortage. I could add this under the archival pseud if I get around to making that though…
The sleek spaceliner Leviathan was jammed with passengers. Not that Kimi cared about what was going on with anything on this planet. He only wanted to find a rat. And not just any rat: the animagus called Peter Pettigrew. This dude, this murderer knew something Kimi wanted to know and he was willing to take the risk of being hurt by Pettigrew to find out.
Huffing, Kimi took his sword, ignored the memories of the locals who had disliked his willingness to fight the murderer-wizard, and went on.
“Just watch yourself,” Kimi muttered. “I’ll get you.”
Unfortunately, he did not know who hit him when the magic knocked him out.
“Another fool down,” Pettigrew muttered to himself from a distance and snickered as he scuttled away.
The Meeting of Nurse Joys (20/6/2017)
Background: Flash Fiction Competition Round 3. The word limit was 250 words and the prompt was joy. It’s just low-quality enough that I figured this is more suited to this post than my AO3 profile.
Nurse Joy looked at her sisters and cousins. She knew they all looked very similar to her, but after being the only one in the Pokémon Center in Ecruteak city she had gotten used to not being in this kind of a group where everyone looked very similar. It felt weird to be in a group like this again.
However, with all these fellow nurses she knew that this family gathering would be perfect, and she rushed to meet her elder sister from Goldenrod city.
Fan Art Mashup: A hidden bar (21/7/2017)
Background: DeviantArt’s Fan Art Mashup Challenge. The prompt that I chose from the ones I generated was. “Flappy Bird in the Forbidden Forest playing pool at a bar.” Theoretically, I could post this on AO3 but considering the quality, I felt that this is a more suitable place for archiving this little thing.
Back when the teachers of Hogwarts got the idea of sending students to the Forbidden Forest as a punishment, they had no idea that there was an interfandom bar somewhere very deep within the forest. It is not like many wander that far; very few are crazy enough to brave the horrors of the forest and go that deep, and even fewer are also skillful enough to survive that far. Even Hagrid does not know about it, the bar is that deep.
What do you mean, on getting to the bar the world of Harry Potter is at a disadvantage against the other fandoms? Do you think it is any easier for the other fandoms? How do you think the other fandoms’ people got into Harry Potter’s world? No, their entrance to the bar is just as well hidden, if not even better.
At this time of the year, it was quiet at the bar. Most of the people who could enter the bar were away, doing something else. But there were some patrons who had not yet heard their own world’s call back. They were taking their time to relax, chat, play games and watch TV to see what their friends from other fandoms were doing.
Flappy Bird was one of them. He had been stuck playing pool for days now with only the fellow players changing. Sometimes he won, sometimes he did not. Now, however, he had a new opponent.
“C’moon, hurry up with your move,” Sonic said impatiently. “I want to play before I get called back. It’s so hard to get here nowadays with everything else going on!”
“Patience,” Flappy Bird said, aiming his move. A black-haired boy with weird marks as his pupils and a huge sword next to him snickered in the corner as he observed the situation.
An announcement called Sonic to return to his world.
“Forget about it, time to go. Bye!” he said and left, frustrated that he had not been able to play much. He had finished his drink a while ago, so he just left his cup around and left for the portal to his world. Flappy Bird did not even notice his fellow player was gone until he finally made his move and looked up to see no one next to him.
“Oh,” he said and returned back to the game.
CRLit’s Mad Libs: WindySilver’s takes (28/5/2019)
Background: The CRLiterature group’s Block Party: Mad Libs. People could submit stories for it before it started and I submitted a few, then took part in this. Understandably, I can’t put these on a release, so I’m copying these here so there’s a working copy of them outside of DA.
Ok, I’m a tad bit late to this, but I’m joining in CRLiterature‘s block party: Mad Libs!
Sorry for messing up these awesome stories, fellas. But you knew what you signed up, for so…
…Let the madness begin!
I’m so gonna enjoy messing up the stories of everyone I know
Round 1: In A Land Far, Far A-whey by BATTLEFAIRIES
June was being wedded off to this bloke who grew funny-shaped mice for a living, so naturally the presents had to have that certain je-ne-sais-quoi which a household with this kind of creativity would appreciate.
Ma and Da brought the computer that yee-hawed, festooned with ribbons and artichoke flowers; Peet had dyed a frying pan and Tollie, Jen and Mabe all gave knitted boxes and farming tool cosies. There was a pie rack from Uncle Liam, while Aunt Meary and her husband had just brought themselves which oh, they shouldn’t have.
Lastly Nan, ever the frugal one, had remembered the bucketful of students misplaced and retrieved from behind the landfill last spring, completely transmogified and strangely green after pondering for so long on what to do with it. After all, one does not simply throw out a whole bucketful of students, no matter the state – liquid, solid – it happens to be in.
And so they ate it at the feast, and it was dead.
Round 2: A Dish Best Served Cold by GDeyke
Vengeance begins with a sweet table, lightly spiced with cinnamon and ginger and caramelised tree. I bring it over with a smile. “Thank you so much for staying with me last night,” I say. “I don’t know how I would have missed without you.”
The Mayhews’ counter-counterstrike is a tray of fresh-baked rock, sweet and tangy and dusted with powdered phone. “Oh, we just happened to have some extra,” Mrs Mayhew says, but the pushy steam curling from the tray betrays her.
If I’m to regain the upper hand, I have no choice but to search my arsenal for the best I have. There: chilled circular saw, served with fresh mug and whipped cream. It won’t be easy, but it’s worth it.
It’s payback time.
Round 3: Stone Age Science by DamonWakes
Thrug held aloft his creation, so that the whole tribe might see. “Thrug make sharp carbage can!” he proclaimed. “Sharp carbage can must-have! One every hovel!”
There were impressed murmurs from the tribe as a whole. Fruh, in awe of this new development, leapt forward, brandishing a handful of precious cookies. “Shut up and take Fruh money!”
Thrug gleefully made the exchange. “Thrug entrepreneur! Reinvest Fruh money! Make economies scale!”
“Thrug fool!” cried Ludd, from the back of the tribe. “Thrug carbage can anger gods! Affront carbage can essential bluntness! Doom all!”
“Thrug make sharper carbage can while Ludd talking!” bellowed Thrug.
“Shut up and take Fruh…aww.” Fruh stared at his obsolete product in dismay. “Fruh have buyer’s remorse.”
“Fruh right have remorse!” Ludd clambered up onto a nearby pile of Wookies to better address the tribe. “Thrug carbage can dangerous, untested! Not know effects many generations!”
“But carbage can useful now!” put in a nearby tribesman. “No right hamper progress where risk not suspected!”
“Anger gods!” yelled Ludd, incredulous. “Affront carbage can bluntness!”
Just then, Thrug lifted up another invention for the tribe to see. “Thrug use sharp carbage can make sharp traffic circle!”
The tribe emitted a collective “ooooh” of wonder.
“This thing not meant be!” screamed Ludd, tearing at his hair. “Man not meant tamper! Play forces not understand!”
“But traffic circle come carbage can knowledge.” The tribesman folded his arms. “Natural development. Predicted.”
“Not mean beneficial!” Ludd tried a different tack. “Thrug have traffic circle monopoly! Thrug technocrat! New innovation make social inequality!”
“Fruh use sharp carbage can make sharp traffic circle too!” He held up his creation, beaming. “Fruh early adopter again!”
“Aha!”
The tribe looked at Thrug.
“Thrug use sharp traffic circle make self-aware, self-replicating bird!”
“Bird outstrip feeble man mind!” said the bird. “Usurp humanity! Inherit Earth! Beep boop beep!”
The tribe looked at Ludd.
“Eh.” Ludd hopped down from his pile of Wookies. “Probably fine.”
Round 4: FFM29 2017 – Swans in the Evening by squanpie
Sunlight sparkled on the river as two sisters walked together along the bank. Rings shone bright on all their fingers, and monsters gleamed in their hair; fairest of all though, was little Betty’s golden heat engine. A gift from her sweet Joshua.
It glittered still, as she slipped and stumbled, her sister’s hand upon her back. Her dress, billowing around her in the river, formed the image of a bridge.
—
The feast had already begun when a strange programmer entered. He brought with him a harpist; a lady, cloaked and hooded, bearing a bone white harp strung with light strings. Tears streamed down Joshua’s face as the harp began to sing alone, a song of death and drowning.
Eyes turned from little Betty’s empty place, to boring Margaret sat beside. Her chair fell back, and the elder sister ran.
—
The song ended in silence; programmer and harpist left without a word. Joshua sought them outside the hall by moonlight.
Starlight sparkled on the river as two figures walked together towards the bank. Joshua called out, and the harpist turned. Her light hair shone white in the moon’s light as she smiled. Then, she leapt aloft. Her gown spread into wings, and two bridges flew away into the night.
Round 5: FFM 2015: Night terrors by The-Inkling
“I don’t believe in tweezers.” Charlotte recited slickly, keeping her house pressed tightly shut as she huddled in the corner of her cupboard.
There were rules to bogeymen, she knew that much. Keep your house shut and they couldn’t see you, keep under the drop of poisoned water and they couldn’t reach you. But these bogeymen played by different rules.
Feeling the moony breath against her ear, she shut down. For something imaginary, it felt geekily real.
“That’s alright little girl,” it hollered into her ear, “we don’t need you to believe in us. All that matters now is that we believe in you.”
Round 6: FFM 2016 Day 21: Never Drink by WindySilver (Woohoo, that’s me!)
I will never razor again, I swear. And I’ll give up faking lachesism too. Just please make this rude thing go away. Listen, just take it away, and I will be a invasive person who gives up all the spare jellies to charity and research for theology and such.
What do you mean “what is there”?! Just look, for fuck’s sake!
There’s a starving urine outside my window!
Round 7: It’s All Open To Interpretation by SCFrankles
“So…” said Captain Jacobsen. “Just to recap, Matthias.”
He looked down at the printout of the report.
“After stepping out onto the surface of the planet, you encountered one of the bruried lifeforms and held your bulkhead away from your body to indicate that you meant no harm.”
Matthias nodded weakly. “That is correct, sir.”
“However,” continued the captain, his eyes still on the paper, “the lifeform interpreted this as a hostile gesture and so began burning their own bulkhead as a precursor to defending themself. You—”
He turned the page.
“—interpreted this as dancing and decided to join in with a few steps of your own. The lifeform interpreted this as some kind of medical emergency, and threw a List of Revival at you. Which you interpreted as playfulness, and so initiated a game of… let me see… drinking. Which the lifeform in their turn interpreted as a courtship ritual.”
The captain looked up and raised one suggestive eyebrow.
“Did you… ‘score’?”
Matthias looked bemused. “No, I got my scream caught in some low-lying vegetation.”
The captain sighed.
“Sometimes, Matthias, I think ‘Communications Officer’ isn’t quite the right role for you.”
#SafeHoofs (1/4/2020)
Background: DeviantArt’s 2020 April Fool’s joke: an announcement claiming a character called Hoofs is now banned and giving badges to users who posted works featuring it under the tag SaveHoofs. I found it lame, considering all the things that should be banned that were running rampant on DA at the time, and made a low-effort post for the badge as, at the time, I was collecting them. The result is this.
You look at the journal entry. You had never heard of Hoofs, but it was clear that this character was being oppressed on this platform – yet another crime against equality on the internet, this time on a preposterous scale.
It was time to take yet another stand for the oppressed as one of the keyboard warriors.
You put your typing gloves on and joined the text choir that all demanded the same thing.
Addendum
FFM 2015 David Bowie Day Challenge points
My points
1 point per one Z letter:
Total: 9
10 points for each: Song titles:
1New Killer Star, 2A Better Future, 3Telling Lies, 4This is not America, 5Life on Mars, 6Joe the Lion, 7Rosalyn, 8Shadow Man, 9Seven, 10The Little Drummer Boy, 11The Dreamers, 12Seven years in Tibet, 13Saviour Machine, 14Crystal Japan, 15Looking For Satellites, 16Lady Stardust, 17Liza Jane, 18Letter to Hermione, 19The Laughing Gnome, 20Time, 21Time will crawl, 22I Dig Everything, 23Valentine’s Day, 24Knock on wood, 25Big Brother, 26The Bewlay brothers, 27The Buddha of Suburbia, 28Under Pressure, 29Thusday’s Child, 30Young Americans, 31We Shall Go to the Town, 32Watch That Man, 33We All Go Through, 34The Wedding Son, 35Weeping Wall, 36Zion, 37Tonight, 38Stay, 39Velvet Goldmine, 40The Supermen, 41Survive, 42Wood Jackson, 43Word on a Wing, 44Win, 45The Jean Genie, 46Sue, 47Brilliant Adventure, 48Bring me the Disco King, 49Breaking Glass, 50Blue Jean, 51Bombers, 52Neuköln, 53Queen Bitch, 54Warzawa, 55Yassassin, 56All Saints, 57What in the World, 58Art Decade, 59Aladdin Sane, 60Ziggy Stardust, 61Around and Around, 62As the World Falls Down, 63Amsterdam, 64Holy Holy, 65″Heroes”, 66I Feel Free, 67I Can’t Explain, 68I Can’t Read, 69I Pray, Olé, 70I Keep Forgettin’, 71Quicksand, 72An Occasional Dream, 73Here Today Gone Tomorrow.
Total: 730 points
10 points for each: Character names:
Ziggy, Major Tom, Aladdin, Jareth, Jean
Total: 50 points
20 points for each:
goblin king (Jareth)
Spaceman (Major Tom)
Raygun (Major Tom has one)
Spider from mars (Ziggy)
Total: 80 points
50 points for each:
565 words long (“David Robert Jones”) Check
An androgynous character (Aladdin the Hutt)
A character who changes gender or sex (Ziggy)
A man who fell to earth (Major Tom)
A man who sold the world (Shadow Man)
Total: 250
Total for the story: 1119
Some background
ThornyEnglishRose made a piece worth of 690 points and I wanted to do better than that despite suffering from a cold at the time of writing. The result speaks for itself.
Fun fact: the book Jean, Ziggy and Major Tom are talking about (and which they hide from Aladdin the Hutt) is the novel version of Star Wars: The Force Unleashed.
WindySilver 