FFM 2024 27: Do (not) Make The Bad Choices

Challenge: Write interactive fiction. At least half of the choices must originate from the 2600 Things Mr. Welch Can No Longer Do During An RPG generator‘s results and you must include the results in the artist’s comments.

Also become available on itch.io as a Twine-made interactive story!

The results I used:

• 571. I will not secretly maze the wizard’s familiar, druid’s companion or paladin’s mount just for a laugh.
• 50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs’ cave instead of exploring it first.
• 712. When told to leave a trail for the rest of the party to follow, they didn’t mean with cigarette butts.
• 1788. Even if it takes an hour before it’s my turn again, can’t kill time with solitaire.

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Start

You wait in a line to the bulletin board. The hourglass on the counter is counting down far too slowly, considering how crowded it is. You estimate you’re going to have to wait for at least an hour.

You should probably kill time somehow. Maybe play solitaire? It is a frivolous use of magic to levitate all the cards, but you have more space vertically than horizontally, so you might as well do that.

Play solitaire — Go to Section 4

Come up with something else — Go to Section 3

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Section 1

You should not go against the majority here. The paladin takes the lead as you start exploring the orcs’ cave.

At the first crossroad, the rogue suggests you conjure something to leave a trail the orcs will not mess with.

You consider what you should conjure. On one hand, you do have a bunch of cigarette butts that you could save your magic with. On the other hand, something that’s more environmentally friendly should be better, considering the response to your previous pitch.

Use the cigarette butts — Go to Section 8

Conjure something — Go to Section 9

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Section 2

The safest bet is not to try anything funny. That cannot backfire on you, plus if something happens, you will be able to respond to it immediately. So, you wait in the mind-numbing line until you get to the bulletin board. You pick an exploration quest since that was what your party wanted, and you head out.

Go to Section 7

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Section 3

Playing solitaire is a surefire way to anger the other patrons — especially those closest to you in the line — and/or get banned from the pub. Better do something else to pass the time.

The wizard in front of you has a spider familiar on their back. You could probably mess with it somehow and see its many eyes work double time at trying to figure out what you’re doing. That could backfire on you but it would pass the time, especially if you try to do it discreetly.

Maze the spider — Go to Section 6

Just wait in the line — Go to Section 2

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Section 4

You start to play solitaire, much to the dislike of those in the line before and after you. You get banned from the pub the moment staff notices.

Your adventure was over before it started.

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Section 5

Orcs are dangerous and, from the sound of it, in high numbers. It’s best to play it safe. It’s not like this realm has given them much rights (yet).

Your party members disapprove of your spell. You ignore the prayer the paladin gasps in apparent horror.

Then you register the feeling of being smit by something divine.

Turns out, the paladin’s deity was watching and highly disapproved of what would be classified as a war crime in most realms.

And now you have to answer to that deity in the afterlife. Rats.

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Section 6

You make a small optical illusion in front of the spider. It spits venom at the illusion — and through the illusion into your face. It stings.

You wind up at the infirmary and cannot go anywhere. The wizard whose familiar you messed with mocks you openly when you enter the pub with a gauze on your face.

You don’t go adventuring this time around.

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Section 7

The orcs’ cave looms ahead of you and your party in no time. The sound of a massive group comes all the way to the unguarded entrance. Definitely a dangerous task.

“I could use thermodynamic science and asphyxiate the orcs so it’s safer to investigate,” you pitch.

Your party is against it despite your arguments for safety. Especially the paladin is against the “waste of precious life”. What should you do?

Do it anyway — Go to Section 5

Explore with your party — Go to Section 1

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Section 8

Chances are you will have to fight. So, best save your magic. You pretend to create something and start dropping the cigarette butts.

At the end of the cave, you find a massive celebration with nothing alarming; all the food is either game or vegan. You start to lead the way back, picking up the cigarette butts as you go so no one can complain and there will be no trace of you in the cave. Unfortunately, you come across a group or orcs eating the cigarette butts in one of the corridors, getting high on the leftover nicotine. They spot your party as you walk in on them and rush you.

Your party joins the game you saw on the feast table and your party members blame you in the afterlife.

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Section 9

Best not to litter. Besides, you have seen birds fight over the cigarette butts; it’s safer not to risk a similar phenomenon occurring with the orcs. You conjure moss on the walls as you go.

At the end of the cave, you find a massive celebration with nothing alarming; all the food is either game or vegan. You start to lead the way back, picking up the moss as you go so there will be no trace of you in the cave. You make it outside and head out to report.

Go to Section 10

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Section 10

You report to the quest giver, get paid and return to the line to the bulletin board. You could have sworn it was even longer now than when you headed out.

This was going to be boring.

Go to Start