Course 1, Diary 12: Design a vehicle Part 2


On Thursday I returned to strengthening the lines with my pen. That pen I used is actually one that I’ve had ever since I began school from the first grade (I skipped preschool since it was optional back then) and it has been used for signing all the tests and all the school papers which required a parent’s signature. Of course there is a pen that has partially replaced it (somehow it usually is easier to find from my pencil-case), but I still have it and it works well. So that pen is nine years old now. A good pen, isn’t it?

This is how far I got on Thursday:


A hasty picture, yes. I believe I was in a hurry and just took a picture without trying to get a more straight picture of this…

I finished the bicycle and started to strengthen the text. I finished it on Friday with the very final modifications, so I could start to color the picture. The upcoming test week is putting pressure on me – I’m chalking it up to that! – I ended up forgetting to take a picture of the final lines. I guess I was too busy erasing all the pencil marks I found to recall it. As coloring was still in progress, I did not take a picture of it.

Fine, I’m honest: The thought of taking a picture of it did not even cross my mind, and even if it did, it was about taking a picture of the finished picture. What can I say? The test week is putting pressure on me and even though it’s only about 5 PM/17.00 by the time of writing this entry, I feel notably tired. Adjusting the clock one hour backward last weekend has completely messed my biological clock up, and I am not the only one with that issue. I understand that this Daylight saving time system saves daylight, but I believe that at least nowadays it most likely causes more trouble than benefits. Luckily it’s a weekend now so I can study for the test week during forenoon when I am not feeling this tired.

I have nothing more to say today.

Course 1, Diary 11: Design a vehicle Part 1


On Monday we began with an exercise: we had to pick a picture and make a mind map about the people in it. After that we had to make a plan for a vehicle of our own which these people would buy. I decided to make a bicycle for the man of the picture I took. It took some time to actually get a picture of it to my mind and start drawing. I did not get very far with the picture though.

On Tuesday we continued, of course. I managed to mostly finish the drawing and started to write things about the bicycle to the picture.

On Wednesday I fully finished the picture and started to strengthen the lines with a pen. Here’s how far I’ve got with it:


Yes, I forgot to take a picture before starting to strengthen the lines… And this was a rather hasty picture.

I will translate the text in the final course diary on this topic, when I have the finished version.

I admit that I am not very interested in this, but since this is a school work which is required for the course, I’m doing it. And I admit that a bicycle like this would be real nice for a rainy day!

On Wednesday we also watched the subvert made by one of us; he had made it as a video, and it was awesome! I really liked it.

Test week is going to start on then next week, so I need to finish the entries of this week fast. Reading the pages on the test areas (I believe test area is the best word for koealue) of physics and chemistry tests takes some time, so I will have less time to write anything until those tests are over; I’m not worried about the Swedish test which is after them. On Monday we will have a double lesson of visual arts but after that we only have some kind of a picture analyzation exercise as our visual arts “test” on the Monday on the following week. I will write a conclusion entry for this course’s diary then. I believe that all of the courses require a course diary, so I will do them here when it’s their time.

to write anything until those tests are over; I’m not worried about the Swedish test which is after them. On Monday we will have a double lesson of visual arts but after that we only have some kind of a picture analyzation exercise as our “test” on the Monday on the following week. I will write a conclusion entry for this course’s diary then. I believe that all of the courses require a course diary, so I will do them here when it’s their time.

Course 1, Diary 10: Subvert Part 3 & More writing


Like I had expected, I did not manage to finish my subvert last night. I will finish it today after school. For this lesson I have to do something to pass time.

I realized on this lesson that the fete the students of junior year prepare for senior year students in December near Christmas will be at the same time as my aikido training, given that the sports hall we have the training at won’t be closed at the training’s time then. I’d prefer to stay out of others’ way and go to my training (now who would’ve ever guessed that about me when it comes to physical exercise?), but I cannot decide it. I have to go to the fete to do my work (I will carry stuff before it) even if my contribution could be easily replaced. Gah!

I guessed that all I could do after writing my course diary up to date was just doing some of my writing projects on my phone since I had all my earlier works ready. I admit that I did not make very much progress on it, either, but at least I did something else than just scroll through Facebook. Wait a second, I don’t even have an account there, and even if I had, it would be a trash account for something necessary and which I’d log in to on Google Chrome once a month – or maybe a week if needed – instead of my usual browser, Mozilla Firefox.

Enough about that topic. I managed to finish my subvert. I did it to mock my local newspaper, Ilkka.


Yesterday I took the picture of the day’s paper and blurred everything else than the banner, to which I put another P to make it Pilkka. Ilkka is a male first name, while the Finnish word pilkka can be translated to the English word jeer.

The text on the left half, from top to bottom:

Subscribe Pilkka!

All the shit from South Ostrobothnia!

Now at the bid price of only 80 €/month!

Subscribe the newspaper today already! * (the asterisk barely shows)

*The subscription cannot be withdrawn, and the payment won’t be returned.

Under the picture:

A referential illustration. The things are much more unclear in the newspaper itself.

Now please don’t get the wrong idea about my thoughts. This is purely humor and a school work. I have absolutely nothing against Ilkka. I think it’s a very good newspaper. I do not intend to offend anyone with this thing. If anyone got offended by this, I apologize and genuinely ask to calm.

What was it like to do this? I had some issues with Gimp and my laptop is not the most cooperative one you can find, and doing something like this one is not really like me. But as it is a school work, I did it. I think it’s a bit crappy, but that’s ok for me. This one was somewhat out of my comfort zone, but at least I put some effort to this and did not just randomly make this one with the hideous “whatever” attitude. That’s what matters to me. This week (especially today and yesterday) has been quite full of fail anyways.

We’ll see what’s ahead on Monday, then. At least there is the nice weekend before that. I really want to get some progress on my personal projects now.

Course 1, Diary 9: Subvert Part 2 & Writing my course diary


I have my subvert thought and planned. I found the picture I need and downloaded it on my phone. I gave some thought for what I will put and where. That is all I could do on my phone, so I decided to start to write the course diary of yesterday and today on my phone. By the way, if anyone needs a simple writing app from which you can copy the text to a computer, I suggest an app named Writer (it’s available on Google Play store, at least). Copying the text is one-way, from phone to computer, though, but otherwise it is very good and very easy to use.

I had planned to do the subvert today, but I am afraid I won’t be able to finish it, as my aikido training takes away roughly two and half hours of my time on my computer. I wonder what I can do tomorrow on arts lesson…

Course 1, Diary 8: Self-portrait Part 4 & Subvert Part 1


The next topic was making a subvert. Others started to move on to that and I took my black pencil and started to color the background. For the sake of keeping broken parts on chains visible in the dark, I added more blood to them. By the end of the lesson I was ready and I tried to take a good picture of the result. The light in the classroom is not very good in addition to my phone’s camera being quite bad, so I did not get very good pictures. I did what I could to improve the quality with Gimp, but I could not do enough. In addition to that the paper crumbled a bit in my backpack (I did not want to fold it so I could not put it to a binder). It’s too bad, really.


Now that his is ready, I want to tell you guys what this represents. And here it comes in italic. I have to warn you, that this is a rant.

Like someone who reads this may already know, I have been bullied in my life. Things have been difficult and many scars have been left even though one cannot see them. I still am maybe even more wary than I should about telling some things about myself to people I don’t know. It did not do any good back when this all happened, not at all. It just made the things worse, I believe. Even though I’ve got friends I see daily at school or with whom I talk via the internet, even though I have gained a lot of courage and self-esteem, it does not make anything undone. It does not erase the scars, it does not make those things fade away. Memories can fade, and I admit that my bad memory has lost a lot of those things, but some things stay in mind. Some things I can’t forget. And what’s more, the traces it has left stick forever.


Outside, I am not a very beautiful person. I am not the beauty you see in an advertisement or at fashion shows. I acknowledge this and I don’t mind. Please, don’t get me wrong: I don’t think I am ugly. I am something between these two. And, of course, this is a very subjective thing. But inside this skin that covers everything starting with the fingers that press the keys which tell the computer to add certain letters to the text that is formed on Word, is something that is more beautiful than the shell. This is why I drew myself more beautiful than I look like.


The girl in the picture is me. That’s simple. The chains represent the bullying. I have been chained, imprisoned, stopped from doing things or going to certain places. It metaphorically represents that. The broken skin that has come from fighting against the chains is the scars I carry. The blood that is bleeding out of the spots previously covered with skin is the hurt I’ve been inflicted to. The shady forms that laugh, that whisper to each other while holding the chains are those who have hurt me, who have wanted to harm me, to degrade me. There is blood on the chains, but those chains have been broken. I am no longer chained by these people who don’t accept me the way I am. It has hurt, but I have broken away. I am putting the darkness of those bad times behind my back. I am walking into the light, and I am not going to turn back. I am not going to even look back, and I am determined to stay in this decision. This maybe even obstinate determination is what shows on my face.


This is part of who I am. This is the symbolic meaning of this self-portrait.

I did manage to get the idea to my subvert. We have the option of making it on a computer. The school’s own computers have only Microsoft Paint, which I have not used for a long time, as I moved to Gimp as I started to make art on my own time. Gimp can be difficult to use, but I think it is worth it. I have compared my MS Paint works to those I’ve made with Gimp, and there is a huge difference in quality.

For these reasons I am going to do this subvert on my own laptop – on my free time, of course.

Course 1, Diary 7: Self-portrait Part 3


A new Monday after the holiday. It really is good to begin your school week after the autumn holiday (and normally) with a double lesson of visual arts. I was ready to continue my self-portrait (I believe I had too much inspiration left from continuing a personal project of mine on Sunday). I had to finish the outlines, and I did that.


I took a look at what I had done and I did notice that many outlines needed to be strengthened. I began to do that, but I did not manage to finish it.

On Tuesday I did manage to get the outlines strengthened and I could start to color the picture. I think that the sharper lines are visible in the picture I took.

Ääriviivat tiistai

I had bought my colored pencils with the thought that they would be the color they seemed to have. I needed them for some personal projects. When I began coloring starting with the skin, I ultimately noticed that I had been wrong about the colors. And that skin-colored pencil was the reason I had bought that pack. Not good, not good. Those colored pencils are some wood-less colored pencils which even I could snap with my hands (I have a similar pencil; I’ve snapped it to a few pieces). They were a bad choice, I think, but I will keep on with them as long as they last or at least are enough for my works.

This truly is why I prefer making my art on my computer rather than on paper. I don’t have the issue of not having the exact color I need on the programs I use. The problem with programs is that getting the right hue can be difficult.

Enough about this topic. Half of the students have finished the self-portraits, so we are moving on while those who have their self-portrait in progress can continue their work. I decided to take my paper with me and finish coloring as I had some spare time right after school. I also did feel a bit like I was getting behind.

I took a better look at the face and thought about what this picture represents. I realized that anger did not belong there. I needed some stubbornness, something that made “me” look like I could say: “Now I am walking this way and you have nothing to say about it!” Therefore I took a selfie for some slight reference and changed the mouth.


After making this the way I deemed good enough, I returned back to coloring. In the evening I got it this far. I decided to leave the background blank and ask some people at the class on the next day if it needed something there. However, very late at night I suddenly got an idea: making most of the background dark and leave some of the bottom white. For me it had a very fitting symbolic meaning, so I put the idea on my phone to the same text file I had put the homework to. I knew that I would not remember it otherwise in the morning anymore — that has happened to me many times before.


What was that homework? We had to pick something (TV, newspaper, social media, etc.) and pay attention to the advertisements and tell on the next lesson about an ad which we could remember the next day. I admit that I forgot it and then remembered it when I checked the user interface my school uses for marking absences, courses and so on. The homework had been marked there by the teacher and as that was the evening, all I could do was to make a makeshift thing and wander around Youtube, paying more attention to the ads than just the normal “skip after 5 seconds”. I wrote a couple of them down on my phone. I told the one I encountered first and a couple of times after that on Wednesday’s lesson then. It was simple enough.

Course 1, Diary 6: Self-portrait Part 2


Like I said in the previous journal entry, I discarded the idea I had gotten. This decision came after the lesson as I thought about a rough idea I have had for some time. I have wanted to do it for a good while, but I haven’t had time for it. I decided that I would do it as my self-portrait. The resolution to make this picture right now most likely this came from the fact that I am, once again, facing the picture’s depicted problem. It really aggravates me, but I am not going to fall. And actually this issue I am currently facing has lead me to think even deeper about two of my original characters I’ve made for a fanfiction of mine. What I realized was actually astonishing.

But enough about that, I am sidetracking here!

The picture I started to make is a full-body picture, and the pose of “me” in it – it really doesn’t look like me at all, honestly! – is quite easy for me, so I did not have to get any reference pictures (my collage will be enough if ever needed for this one). I am making it – especially its details – while drawing. By Thursday I had drawn most of “myself” there, but it’s still in progress. Due to this Friday being a special day (corvée) we don’t have an arts lesson then. However the teacher said that we have plenty of time to do our self-portraits, so I did not take my picture with me for autumn holiday.

Once I have finished the picture’s outlines, I will post a photo of it along a course diary entry. But not now because it’s not finished enough.

I do hope I will make it ok.

Course 1, Diary 5: Self-portrait Part 1


The presentations have been given. Now it was time to move on to the next topic: making a self-portrait.

As was expected, everyone got horrified. “I can’t draw!” many – including me – said. But we are in luck: we can choose any style of modern art or modernism. The portrait does not even need to look like us. And indeed I am not making one that looks like me just to keep my drawing skills from making me look even worse.

The music class is right next to visual arts class, and the music can be heard well through the wall even in the middle of the arts classroom. So I decided to make my self-portrait one where I listen to music. It was going to be a dark picture, telling something about silence and peacefulness. I wanted some feeling to it. So my choice was symbolism. I thought of drawing either a Jedi tunic or an aikido outfit on me (even though most of what was to be seen in the picture was my head).


This is what I drew. I think it went ok. However, like the cross over it indicates, this idea has been discarded. So the picture of me I used as a reference is now useless. I’m drawing a new one on the other side of the paper.

Maybe I’ll finish that picture someday in some form. Who knows?

If I am using a picture for that, I do need to wear different clothing in it than what I wore during taking the original picture, though…

We were given questions we have to answer. Now I am making a small writing to answer them.

At first I was worried about making this self-portrait thing, but when I heard that it does not have to represent the person who has made it, I relaxed. Of course my original idea could have been a good face study, but using my own face? I’m not really into that.

So I did not want to make it look like me. I had to choose a style which did not require realistic drawing. I first thought of using a style which name I don’t recall now, but my teacher reminded me about symbolism when I told her about wanting to have the emotion coming from my picture, so it became my choice. And symbolism is even clearer choice for the idea I am going to execute for this self-portrait, so that’s it.

Course 1, Diary 4: A presentation about pointillism Part 2


Monday. Visual arts’ double lesson. Starting as the first lesson of the day, right at 8.

It is a good idea to put students to give their presentations to the rest of the class at this very moment. If you want them to have a lot of fails in front of the class, that is!

First one should have been impressionism, but since the other one of the makers of its presentations was sick and not at school, the first one was pointillism. This meant that Eerika and I were the first ones to give the presentation and talk some stuff about the ism we had gotten. It included a lot of fails from our behalf (or at least mine), but how come there would not have been? It was Monday and the time was a bit over 8 AM!

Fine. We got it through (but the laggy computer of the class was not very cooperative towards anyone), it went ok, and so on. Some others had technical problems since we had done the presentations on PowerPoint and the computer we showed them on had just OpenOffice. Lucky that we did not put very much additional effects. And it really is good that I did not take the presentation to my computer to put something additional; I did realize in time that it would be asking for trouble, and that alone.

The double lesson was fully taken by the presentations. One pair who had somehow lost their presentation midway gave their presentation on the next day. Impressionism has to wait until after autumn holiday.

At least that’s over. I really am glad that it is. Getting in front of the class all alone makes me nervous, but having someone by my side really helped. But I really prefer just doing stuff on my own in privacy.

Course 1, Diary 3: An art relationship test and art museum


Eerika and I finished our presentation on Thursday, but not everyone else managed to do that. The teacher gave some exercises for those who were ready already, but everything backfired on this Friday: there was a baccalaureate test exercise and the computer mice had been taken for them. Of course our school has desktop computers and not laptops, so we couldn’t do any of those exercises. Luckily at least one pair got a mouse so that they could do their presentation without problems. We got Ipads to do our first exercise: do a test about art relations. Surprise, surprise, it required Adobe Flash, which is not available for mobile devices nor tablets! No mouse to use on computer, no possibility to do it on Ipad. Now that went pretty well, don’t you agree?

The second exercise was to write about our relationship to art to our course diary. It required the test result, which we could not get. I had to skip that for this reason.

The third exercise was about finding information about an art museum of our choice and answering questions about it. First we needed to go to the search of and find an art museum. The link provided in the exercise paper did not work, but luckily the search was relatively easy to find. But then the search did not work when I tried to find something. It started to co-operate with me near the end of the lesson, and I only managed to decide the museum. That’s probably the best, because I would have had to write it on my phone anyhow.

Summary: This was a very frustrating lesson.

All of these things I needed to do at home then. And here they are, all in one entry.

Exercise one: The test. If anyone is interested, here it is (it’s only in Finnish, unfortunately):

I found this test a bit awkward. Mostly I did not find an answer that suits me.

Exercise two: The art relationship test

My test result was this:

Näyttökuva (28)

Here is my rough and possibly erroneous translation:

An excited dreamer

Interesting, you’re looking for the only right one.

Once you were swept off your feet. The experience stuck to your mind and you wish that you could feel it again.

You are very independent, but you enjoy being between the two. You are a good listener, yet you share also ideas and feelings willingly. As a sybarite you seek and experience new experiences.

You are a bit nervous about beginning a new relationship, but don’t worry: getting to know art at EMMA — Espoo’s museum of modern at can take time.

I really don’t know if this actually suits me. I’m a good listener (at least usually) and I like to share ideas and feelings, but I am not sure if it applies to my relationship to art.

The last time I was in an art museum was last May, when I was in Paris on a study trip and went to Louvre. I remember that my legs were already sore and that I saw some people who had Nintendo 3DS consoles with a map of the museum or something (I have a feeling that they were Japanese or at least Asian… Not sure anymore, though). Pretty awesome, isn’t it?

My group split up. I went with my teacher and her family. We did see a good amount of things: statues, Egyptian things like sarcophagi and so on. We even saw Mona Lisa, but there was a huge amount of tourists, and being the short person I am, I decided to not try to get any closer. I just picked my phone, opened up its camera — there is something wrong with my digital camera’s settings and it couldn’t take good pictures; the amount of light was just too little there for my camera to handle—, zoomed and took a picture of Mona Lisa. I admit that half of the picture is covered by tourists and just a small spot is actually Mona Lisa. That painting is smaller than what you would think!

I think there is not very much more to be told about that. I would have to go through my pictures to actually remember what we saw there, because I certainly don’t remember that much. Enough about this now, though. If anyone wants to ask more about my study trip, please comment or send me a message through whatever way is possible in order to reach me.

I rarely visit museums or art exhibitions. As far as I recall for now, all of those which I have visited have been school trips. I really don’t have time to go to museums, and I am not very interested to do so anyways. If there was an interesting theme and I had enough time and a way to get there, I could go, but not otherwise. I have more interesting and better things to do than make my legs hurt because of something I’m not interested in and which I don’t have to do.

Out of the very little — actually now that I think of it, I may have visited a museum just twice; at least I can quickly remember just two occasions — times I’ve been to museum, I think visiting Louvre was memorable, because that trip was my first trip abroad and to Paris. That trip was unforgettable anyways. I do recall something about the preceding visit to a museum — the local museum on an art lesson, actually. I was on sixth grade back then. There was a photography exhibition as far as I remember. What I really remember about it was that I did not give a light about the whole thing. I just wasn’t interested in the topic. Luckily I had a good friend of mine with me, so I did not have to get bored all alone. Whatever else I recall about it is not related to art and I keep it to myself.

Exercise three: The art museum of my choice

I went to the search and in the end I ended up choosing one. This museum is Imatra’s art museum. Surprisingly it is located in Imatra, which is located in southeast Finland, near the border of Finland and Russia.

Imatra’s art museum’s collections are emphasized on national art from the twentieth century. By the time of writing this entry the current exhibition is about Olavi Heino and Kuutti Lavonen. This exhibition will end soon, though.

Based on what I read from the website of this museum, I think I would not visit it because I am not interested in Finnish art from the twentieth century. And besides, Imatra is far away from where I live now (and it will still be far away after I move on my own to study in a university), so that would be a problem anyways.

I’d say this is enough. Now I need to write the second entry about the presentation on pointillism. That may come up tomorrow. I’m in no rush with this, because the next week is holiday and thus I have lots of time to do what I must do.